This is a really good story! I love how Sam and Dean are so connected...so close that they can almost talk in telepathy. I guess it just shows how colse siblings can be.

Keep up the good work!

For a story written in under an hour, it's not bad. I wouldn't have known the difference.

I don't watch Supernatural, so I can't make comments on characterization. However, I can see where the story can improve, and what you did right.

On the positive side, you captured the essence of emotion in the story, which is what talented writers do. Capturing emotions in writing is often the difference between a good story, and a great story.

Furthermore, I only saw one technical error.

"And Sam expressed that very thought through his own face. Dean visually lit up."

No need to start the sentence with "And."

On the negative side, I never recommend song fics for two reasons. First, a musician can go after a writer for copyright infringement, despite a disclaimer (as any disclaimer on the site only pertains to writing). The second reason is that although I know the song, if a person doesn't know the song, they can get lost -- although you did remedy it by posting a link to the song. Songs are great for inspiration for plots, but they can never be used verbatim.

I also see what you mean when you used narration a lot. However, each story has a different fit. In this case, the narration was fine. Any excessive dialogue would ruin the mood.

A little rough around the edges, but I see great potential as a writer -- especially after a one-hour short story.

I loved this song, and I too thought it would be perfect for Sam and Dean. You did a really good job with the song and mixing it in with what Dean may have been feeling. Great brotherly moment! Really thought is was great.

This is my first supernatural fic, although I have seen a few episodes but I quite like this. I saw your post on facebooks FF group so I wanted to come over and see what you wrote. I think the lyrics fit in perfectly with the song and I like the way you described the brothers emotions and their love for one another. You portrayed that quite well. :)

wow- awesome story!
I simply love that Linkin Park song
I really like the way u wrote the story addapted to that song
:D

I liked it.

As usual.

Keep up the good work.

Love, your cloudy rain.

Candy, that was great!! The lyrics really do reflect what Dean and Sam are going through!! amazing one-shot! :)

Candy!

Firstly songfics are like such a fave form of fic for me.

Secondly this song awesomely fits in totally with Dean's situation.

I loved how you structured the story...Dean's thoughts in relation to the lyrics as he's listening to them.

Dean going to hell & leaving Sammy breaks my heart & you conveyed the angst of this.

Love how you have the bros communicating...just by looks...like they are reading each other minds...the Winchester bros connection :D

Really enjoyed this :)

And I shall give you some **squishy hugs** as thanks.

x

Damn it, you beat me to the song. I thought of Supernatural the first time I heard it. All lyrics - except the "forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well - verse, are Dean. I thought the other was Sam.

im not really that much a big of fan of LP but i do like this song from them.

Good story. it sounds more like a Dean song for what he going through this season.

OMG!! I am so happy someone finally wrote a story using this song. I LOVE LP and this song is one of my favorites and I just think it totally fits in the synopsis of the show. You did a great job incorporating into the story. They should use it in an episode.
Great job! =D

This is really good. Good job. Keep up the good work.