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| FlameOfIllumination 2008-03-26 ch 1,  | abusewow this is nice. I do have to point out the archaic langauge, while fine as a device, is incorrect, and this can be quite annoying. You can't say "thou is" you have to say "thou art". "(Thou take away thy love so easily.)" Sentences like this are awkward, and in the wrong tense. I'm not trying to be harsh, the idea is good, but if the grammer was correct, it would be perfect. It should be something like: "Thou hast taken away thy love so easily" (Thou is loved, my child, thou is safe.) should be "Thou art loved, my child, thee be safe." (or thou art safe) Sorry to be picky, but it would really improve the story if you knew the proper grammer that applies to this kind of old english. |
| Darren's Wings 2008-03-25 ch 1, | abuseOh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. SO beautiful. I cried. Gorgeous. Poor Andromeda... ~Wings~ |
| MatoakaWilde 2008-03-23 ch 1, | abuseoh this was very nice! I liked the line "She had something, some kind of life left, some kind of family." |
| Dodger Gilmore 2008-03-21 ch 1, | abuseAw, you really make me feel for Andromeda. Good job. |
| GoddessofYouth 2008-03-21 ch 1, | abusePoor Andromeda. |