awesome. i spent 5 hrs straight reading this lol. think nami cries abit too much but you did luffy's death pretty well.(or do you have a plot twist where he is actually alive)
please update, i'm really enjoying it.

Wow, critique discourages you from writing? Oh noes! Nobody do that or else she´s going to update until 2024! Cause I feel Ive been waiting for an update since last year, the horror. Please finish before I die. The story is incredibly awesome.

Cool Seltap baby, glad to hear you're still going with your writing! Can't wait, good luck!

You gotta update soon PLEASE! This is an excellent story, and your right it's really getting dark. But how could it get anymore darker than Luffy being killed and Nami getting captured and put into some kind of blood-thirsty Marine prison camp. While on the subject it is supposed to be a LuNa fic right?? And is the rest of the crew going to be making another appearence, they have'nt been very involved in the story as of yet. Update...update...update...(you really dont want me to start begging)

I'm glad to hear this story is already planned out and just needs to be typed out xP

Personally, this is one of my favorite stories ;o it's so interesting and different :) well, no matter when it's updated next, i'll be the there to read it ^o^

Well... as long as you never give up on it like you said, you can take your time. I'll be waiting...

its to sad...(i like it thou, i just cry easily.)

ah, Zoro seems OOC, especially if you think about what happened during the conclusion of Thriller Bark.

I don't usually go for fanfics, but I stumbled across this one and loved it (read the whole thing in two sittings. Woulda read it in one but it was late). If this were a filler arc, I would imagine the sad version of We Are playing through almost the entire story (the track that was played in the show when Nami tried to stop the people of her village from fighting Arlong).

You did well making the story quite sad. Suspenseful, too. Only someone who's had their emotions stolen from Captain Calibri would be unable to feel for Nami. And like the other reviewers said, a completely emotionless Luffy is just chilling.

I love how you did the scene with the doctor refusing Luffy's treatment, and Luffy's death. I'm still holding out for Luffy to not be dead, seeing as how they never found his body. Perhaps his body instinctively activated Gear Second to fight off the cold/poison. I'm still imagining a scene where the Marines are about to shoot Nami when they a hunched figure appears ahead of them covered in steam; Luffy in his Gear Second pose! But of course, we'll see what actually happens, won't we?

Since everyone pretty much said all the positive things I could possibly say about this story, I'll focus on the stuff I didn't like:

1) This isn't so much your story specifically as much as it is against almost all fanfics, message board posts, etc. for all animes: You are writing the fic in English, use English words. Mugiwara No Luffy? No, that's what you use if you're actually writing the whole thing in Japanese. 4kids has lost One Piece to Funimation, so it is now officially safe to use the term "Straw Hat Luffy" without officially using 4kids terminology. Especially for Devil Fruits. Tsu tsu no mi is what in English? This goes for honorifics (-san, -chan, and the like shouldn't be in the English-written versions of a story) and terms like "Yosh", "Oi", and the ever-so-popular "Nakama". I always tell people who do this "Pick a language". Sorry, but this is just something that irritates me alot.

2) Too LuffyxNami. I know that the intent of the fic was to make it revolving around Luffy and Nami, but I felt that the other Straw Hats didn't get the attention they deserved in this. It felt like they wrote Luffy off too easily and were very quick to label him a lost cause, especially Zoro. Even though Zoro would be the first to point out that they may have to accept a worst case scenario, it seems even Zoro just gave up on Luffy literally after a quick trip to a bar. What would have been great would have been to explore how ALL the Straw Hats felt about losing Luffy, especially Usopp and Chopper, with whom Luffy is always playing and goofing around with and probably identifies the most with (there's a reason the Luffy vs. Usopp rivalry in the Water 7 arc was so heartwrenching). They all could have searched for Joji for a few chapters but given up when the situation was truly hopeless and then have Nami leave the ship with Luffy. But I really feel that the other Straw Hats really gave up too quickly on Luffy (though I did like Zoro's final scene of dialogue with Luffy. Very well done).

Of course, this may also stem from the fact that I don't like pairings in One Piece, including Luffy and Nami. Thank you so much for not including romantic feelings in there. Usually when I see romance in a One Piece fic, I hit the back button.

3) Too angsty. I know this is a tragedy, but One Piece has alot of tragedy without coming off as too angsty (including Robin's surprisingly un-angsty "I want to die!" from Enies Lobby). I love how you did it after they left Joji's ship, but Nami's angst started too early (she was already hearing things before they even made it to the bar in the first chapter). She had been crying throughout the whole thing and I think the hopelessness she felt really shouldn't have set in so intensely until after Joji sent them away. It just felt too angsty for One Piece (a story saturated with tragic, tear jerker moments). And--and this goes back to the previous point I made--the angst felt so uneven. It really felt like Nami was the only one who truly cared for Luffy and that the others just sort of gave up on him too quickly.

4) This is minor, but the people who were beating Luffy should have been stabbing him instead. Since Luffy's made of rubber, blunt strikes would have just bounced off of him, as seen in Chapter 2 of the manga where Alvida's mace has no effect on him. This isn't like CP9's Tekkai skill, which has to be activated. Luffy's body is rubber no matter what, so such strikes would bounce off him no matter what. Perhaps one of the men could have tried to strike him with the pipe, only for the weapon to bounce off him and hit him in the face, prompting the other men to resort to stabbing instead. Heh, even unconscious, emotionless, and poisoned, and Luffy still beats up the bad guys.

5) I'm only up to the Enies Lobby arc, so maybe you know more about the tactics of the Marines and World Government than I do, but the whole Nazi-style running thing in the last chapter seemed to be a little bit much. I mean, if you develop it and all it would be really awesome, but I just felt (absence of further chapters explaining the nature of this facility the prisoners were just taken to) that it all seemed a little dark and evil even for the Marines, which as of the Enies Lobby arc I've never seen act with such cruelty and enjoy it so much.

6) YOU KILLED LUFFY AND DIDN'T MAKE ZORO GET LOST WALKING IN A STRAIGHT LINE! BASTARD! No I'm just kidding, but Zoro getting lost on the way to the bar would've lightened the mood a bit in a place where it would be perfectly appropriate for the mood to be lightened. It this were an actual story arc, I would be surprised if Oda DIDN'T do that.

Ultimately, this is an awesome story and I can't wait to see the next chapter.

Im axiously waiting for the next chapter too. please dont give up on this fic. You know how hard it is to find good fics on this site? Im a fan of this fic and for Three's Company. Please update that fic too when u have a chance, onegai? Ttil next time.

Lord Balmung

Hey.
Wow, this story is really great. And so sa~ad. Why did you end Luffy life? Oh and poor Nami!
Come on, write some more chapters and give it a happy end. I don't want Nami to be that sad. Neither knowing Luffy as dead.
Just go on with the stiry, it's a great one!

I know it's been 7 months since you last updated, but PLEASE don't give up on this story! It's so deliciously angst I can't stand it. What happened to Luffy? When will Nami start feeling happiness again? Where's the rest of the crew? Why aren't they looking for them? I really hope Luffy's not dead! Though I have a feeling that Luffy isn't dead. I don't think you'd do that to us.
If that doctor's only in it for the money, then he must not be a very good doctor...

Anyways, grammar and flow-wise, I say this story is a huge success. You've got the characters in perfect characterization and manage to make them work under the angst genre. I applaud you.
The only thing I'd suggest is that- Well, actually, I have nothing to suggest! Only that you'd update! the suspense is tearing me up!

o now i'm mad @ u
but i always get mad @
the author in these cats
so don't worry lol kinda
depressing tho

Wow Seltap-san, found another amazing story of yours)) But compared to "Three's Company" this fic is really angst. Anyway I enjoyed it as much as "Three's Company".
P.S. Hope you'll update your stories soon.
P.S.S. Wahh, again my English sucks...

I hope Luffy isn't dead because that would be too cruel to Nami. Until I see the body I will refuse to believe it. In the worst case scenario, I hope she can get over the shame and go back to her nakama. I think it's about time she had some shoulders to lean on. And if she truly can't face them then she needs to find a place to settle down and work through her grief and guilt.

But I would still prefer that her struggles not be futile and in vain. However it turns out ultimately, this was a gripping story I couldn't put down.