Wow. I'll agree that your story does meander a bit, but it does so in such lovely places, how could I possibly hold that against it? I almost stopped reading when I realized that you'd incorporated an OC into the first few paragraphs. I, er, tend to hate those, but this one turned out to have a good narrative purpose, and his inclusion actually felt very plausible. Necessary, even. He's a very good launching board for the emotional meat of the story, the delicious slice-of-life tension between a pubescent boy and his widow mother. It explains how her attitude changed after Goku's death; why she decided to go easier on her children; why she, for lack of a better term, ached for a fighter's lifestyle once again. I always found it an interesting character development, and I love what you've done with it here.

Keep up the great work, I love stories like this!

There's something so heartbreakingly sad about this fic. It's wonderfully melancholy and I absolutely adore the way you've tackled the growing chasm between Chi-Chi and Gohan. You've captured their quiet natures very well, especially the way Gohan feels his responsibility. Poor little boy who had to grow up too fast. And the way Chi-Chi is almost too tired to try anymore, the way she's privately struggling with her loss (and not to mention all the hormonal and physical changes that accompany pregnancy!), is just beautiful. Fantastic job. Totally agreed that Chi-Chi needs more love.

Hmm... the every day life after Goku died? x3 I love it so. I can really picture it. You got both characters down packed. Nice.

I liked it! Both Gohan and Chi-Chi were very much in character, and you've even managed to reach a depth within Chi-Chi's mother figure that was never really shown in the series. I agree in that people don't show enough love for Chi-Chi in this section; she's always portrayed as an annoying character, which annoys me. Sheesh, there's more to someone than meets the eye, after all.

The point? The point was to show the relationship of mother and son that the series never did, so well done!

Take care,
~LGT

Good character analysis. It was both cute and deep. Nice one-shot

go story

Aw, this is the kind of stories that make me warm and fuzzy inside. People really need to write more about Gohan and Chi-Chi without making it sound like she's a tyrant and he a victim (because regardless of their beliefs, Chi-Chi is just being a mother). I especially like your portrayal of Gohan; he's as sweet and caring and adorable as ever. I want to adopt him.

I normally don't like OC, but "Lumbaa" is the kind of name that just fits into the DBZ world, which makes him not glaringly out of place. Good job.