ai yi yi, i really don't even know where to start on this one...#1 there is horrible characterization problems, here, with dally...like noads said, you really think he's going to just lay there and kiss his girlfriend on the forehead? no! someone like dallas wants SEX. #2 dallas blush? dallas is the kind of person that never blushes, and yet he seems to do so profusely in this fic. #3 same thing with crying.

hoo boy, you would need a major overhaul to get this story back on track. i'm willing to help, if you want, my inbox is open.

Dallas Winston would like to be let out of the closet you've locked him in. He's quite recovered from the sap to the back of the head, and he wants to cut you for this travesty of a fic.

This is possibly the very worst characterization of Dallas Winston ever, pre-book or not. You don't understand very much about human nature, do you? Do you really think someone like Ponyboy could end up like Dallas?

This is an awful, awful portmanteau of Ponyboy and Dallas. What were you thinking? Or were you thinking at all?

PS - Do you really think Dallas Winston could lie next to a girl in bed and only kiss her forehead?