|Reviews for It Was My Idea|
| sunshine37 8/3/10 . chapter 1
Cute story, good job.
| SBlackisi 2/22/10 . chapter 1
Loved the last line! It was hilarious!
| Anonymous 5/22/09 . chapter 1
Hahaha, I loved it. Great work and keep it up!
| damonsnewlove 9/3/08 . chapter 1
love the popscile Idea! verygreat story
| MeBeingAWallflower 8/25/08 . chapter 1
Very funny story! :):)
| bluetomatopasta 6/10/08 . chapter 1
Hi! OK-you asked for some feedback, and I am going to give you some.
First off, I think you had a good idea with this. You were clearly going for a fluffy one-shot, so it's fine that you didn't have deep soul-searching and instead stuck to light banter.
However, I did not think that the execution was realistic. Of course, the ship itself is kind of unrealistic (no offense to the ship! I'm just saying...), so any HG/SB story would have to be at least somewhat fantastical. In this particular case, though, I think you could made the story seem more real by incorporating some sort of character/plot development. As "It Was My Idea" stands right now, the hook-up seems VERY random. We don't see any of the build up of attraction, so it is out of character for both Hermione and Sirius to be so forward. And then-oop, suddenly they're a couple.
Basically, the story is pretty rushed...so you should try to focus on making your plotline as believable as possible, even if it would never happen, just by convincing readers that the end result has been a long time coming (does that make sense? I'm having difficulty articulating my thoughts, for some reason). Just...make sure that you somehow SHOW the development of their relationship-and this can still occur after the popsicle scene, if you write it correctly. ARGH sorry, I'm not being lucid, but hopefully this helps!
Good job, though-this is a great start!
| Jenwryn 5/10/08 . chapter 1
Ahaha! and here I am as requested! lol.
Actually, I had a lot of fun reading this story of yours - your Hermione was pleasantly forward (I like that) and of course Sirius was Sirius, what more needs be said? *smirks*
As for critique, my only comment is that in this section:
"After all Sirius, like I’ve told Harry once before, you’re a fanciable bloke. I like and want you.”
I was under the impression that Hermione was saying she'd told Harry that SIRIUS was a fanciable bloke, whereas I understand from what Sirius says that she must have told HARRY he was fanciable. Maybe it could be phrased slightly differently, so dummies like me find it a bit clearer?
Anyway, I enjoyed bopping over in this direction and had a lot of fun reading it - it really is an enjoyable ship, no? And I have you to thank for introducing me to it! *glomps*
| ABAB 4/26/08 . chapter 1
I liked it, That was good!
| Evelyns Journey 4/22/08 . chapter 1
hahaha! That last part was hilarious. - How cute, too bad you didn't continue this. It would have made a cute little story. - Good work.
| Caramel Crazy 4/15/08 . chapter 1
Loved. It. Keep writing!
| Paara 4/4/08 . chapter 1
Hey, I really liked this story! It actually went really well and haha Hermione and Black actually seem okay to me now. My only tiff with your story is that it needs more reated X material...haha but thats just me.
| Remembrance Lane 4/3/08 . chapter 1
That was very, very enjoyabe! Very humorous, I particulalrly enjoyed the end!
| Anne Black 3/31/08 . chapter 1
Aw... I loved your fic! and I agree with Hermione: Sirius is really hot! ;) .
[sorry about my bad english u.u ]
| GrandeVanillaSkimLatte 3/29/08 . chapter 1
Hahaha that last line was fabulous, this was cute and witty and had just the right amount of hot fluffiness to make them believable. Despite their banter they still managed to get across their fears of entering a relationship but it wasnt angsty instead it was hilarious and a great read - good job!
| WeasleyForMe 3/28/08 . chapter 1
I loved this! It's hilarious and sweet! I loved that it was Tonks' idea for Hermione to use the popsicle!