dear god that is amazing! poor atemu though :( he was all depressed :( but i love yugi with a backbone _ great story keep it up _

wonderful story! thank you (hugs) _

I am wonderig why I read this at 4:48am...O.O...still good story

you must be The Best writer on this site. And i promise you i shall belive that until the (pray to god this doesn't happen) termination of Fanfiction . net

Wow, this was a very well written story. I loved the development of it and it followed a very professional arc, you're depictions of the characters and situations were excellent, but very analytical giving it a rather de-personalised feel, by only naming three characters you focused it very well upon Yugi and Atemu but it gave a very hazy feel to their surroundings and the events taking place outside the immediate timeline. I think that this was the intended mood, but if not it suited the story perfectly.

You have a beautiful and surprisingly sophisticated writing style, truly reading this was like something in a book, professionally published and if you ever feel the inclination I urge you to maybe change the character names and enter this into a competition - I truly believe that this has the right level of skill.

My only notes of contention would be two points: Firstly I would really have liked to see some chapters in this as the one long continous stream of story became tedious after a while, even if it was exactly the same way, the psycological concept of changing chapters - or page if in a book - helps to give the mind a rest and to pique interest. Incidentially why a book can get away with much longer chapters than a web-posted story is because of the mentality of changing page, and you must remember that on this site there are no page breaks.

Secondly, the action itself was - in my opinion - a little too planned out. To build the tension there needs to be tension actively felt by the characters, and in this you had a lot of passive tension, such as from the situation. Small things like - perhaps - Yugi loosing his gun at some point, therefore loosing the upper hand, or maybe stringing out Atemu's "death" to be far more actively interacted with. Tools such as dialogue, and first person thoughts will turn a passive tension into an active one. Overall I think that the passivity of your tension created really complimented the characters, but it ended in creating a very flat story which comes back to my first point of chapter breakers; leave the audience something to string them along, and make them wait for the solution - even if its only as long as it takes to liad the next page.

Overall you did a fantastic and highly professional job, I would love to see some of your more recent stuff to see where you've built too.

Keep up the good work

- Phoenix

This was fantastic! It was extremely well written and the storyline was gripping. It was interesting how you explained everyone's thoughts, and how you changed points of view. All in all, an amazing story!

About time I added this now I have my own account. I can only echo what others have said, loved everything about this. Read it ages ago, sorry for not reviewing, and keep coming back. Superbly written.

Wow. This was so much fun to read! I love how everything played out- the shift in point of views was welcome and well written, and it was really easy to imagine.

I adore the way you wrote Yuugi- a bit arrogant and sure of himself, and willing to do anything to save Atemu.

You did an amazing job with this! I really admire your intelligent writing style.

YukinoKara

Interesting plot...I was almost convinced that it was Atemu who was the negotiator, but again, the twist was nice. Would I be correct in saying that Blond was Joey...at least that's who his personality seemed to match. The last scene (after Yuugi is released) was...steamy. (Insert wicked grin here). And we can all guess why they're going to a motel...

Anyway, great job!

I both have the time and feel inclined to say that I adored this little fic. ;-) You have an amazing control over words and I absolutely adore every single one of your fics, but this one in particular stood out immensely. I love the unquestionable devotion they have towards each other and the light in which you manage to capture it. Undeniably amazing.

I like how Atemu was the hostage instead of Yuugi.

And despite the fact that Yugi went to jail, I thought it was sweet. xD

I thought the writing style was amazing. You really captured the texture of the characters and made it believeable that they'd act the way they acted.

Thanks for the great story :)

Aw, that was so adorable. I love how Yuugi isn't his normal quiet self. It's a nice change. Great story.

I wuv this story ]

you are an incredible writer, you make me think im really there. your descriptions never fail to amaze me. and the fact that its yugi/yami makes meh happy too ]

Ha! this is both amazing and refreshing. I have fun reading it. To tell the truth I was expecting Atemu to be the cop. It so sweet... Thanks a bunch for writing it, I realy loved it