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| PaCT 2008-05-13 ch 2,  | abuseDoesn't everybody? well, when you DO post remember to try and edit it, okay? |
| PaCT 2008-04-03 ch 1, | abuseUm...sounds like it'll be an interesting plot, BUT some advice: you should SERIOUSLY think about giving this a spell check, you should also add quotations when someone is speaking and after they're done speaking, also the names should be capitalized, the "I" should be capitalized, too, when someone's talking about themselves--that wasn't too bad though. Oh, and you confused some words--example: whole: 1. comprising the full quantity, amount, extent, number, etc., without diminution or exception; entire, full, or total 2. containing all the elements properly belonging; complete 3. undivided; in one piece...hole:1. an opening through something; gap 2. a hollow place in a solid body or mass; a cavity. Yeah, so I hope that helps. t.t Uh, did I sound too mean? Sorry if I did but without some of that stuff fixed it's kind of difficult to understand. ANYWAYS, update ASAP! |
| Thatz of the Dragon knights 2008-03-31 ch 1, | abuseInteresting plot but can I suggest you use spell check next time? You made the very common mistakes of mixing up words like hole and whole and lyre and liar. It's an easy mistake to make I guess so no worries :) Also it would be easier to read if you used quotation marks around the words the characters are speaking because it was a bit confusing to read a conversation and not know when someone was talking and when they had stopped. Other than those that I saw you've got a very promising plot and I know you'll do well expanding upon it. |