That was Luna the Echidna, Ari's mother. Good job, girlfriend!
Oh, and it's tongue.

No, it's NOT over yet, silly! i just wanted u guys ta put on ur thinking caps, that's all. just look out for part 15.

Aw man, it's over already? I hope you get the rest of it done soon.

Nice work! I can't wait for Prt 14. Keep it up.

This story is better than the first Ariana story.it actually is a story besides in this and that scene this happens.
I would suggest adding more detail but conversation isn't bad it just needs more info inbetween to set a mood and to show where they are.
Charectors are more than dialog.

Your OC is a Mary-Sue. Sorry, I meant your self-insert.

Spelling is good, grammar needs a little work, plot is clichéd.

Average.