Ok, Sue. Sue. Sue.

First of all, you need to correct your spelling. You should have some sort of spell checker in your comp...

Also, I just can't take you seriously with that name. I mean, crustal-beast onix scorpion? Really?

This has potential, but the story needs work.

Pretty good so far!

This is a great chapter. I wonder if Maria will decide to take Makito back with her.

Vampires? ...

There are some grammar and spelling errors, but so far I like your story.

It's a very interesting premise, but there are quite a few spelling mistakes that need to be corrected - including in the summary.

Otherwise, it is very intriguing. I'd prefer for Doc to bring Clara and the boys back to 1985 with him, but that's just my opinion. I do wonder what happened to them, though.