ok. i saw some good n bad. i liked the story line n the idea of what you were going for. and you've got how to form quotes down. plus u got the right mixture of serious/comedy. so that's good. but for the bad. it was kind of hard to follow. you may have introduced characters to quickly. its ok to save people for the 2nd or third chapter. the part that was hard to follow was dialogue. ya know the convo part. it got kind of jumbled and i wasn't sure who was speaking when. all in all, this story has great potential. if u just work on some of the things i mentioned then you've got it in the bag. good luck n happy writing.

Okay wow. I'm at a bit of a loss to respond to this.

For one I'm reporting this chapter as an abuse of the site (I really hope you know what I'm talking about).

If you don't care about reviews then disable them permanently.

Don't bother writing if you're actually gonna stop the moment someone flames you. Or keep them hidden in a little notebook that you scribble in when you're feeling lonely.

By the way, if you're as young as your statements make you sound then the education system is really going down the drain faster than I thought.

Good luck and peace.
- DyingInnocence

Opposed to what was said a couple reviews ago, stories are about having correct grammar and spelling. It tends to make stories more readable.

I loved the summary which is why I came to check this story out but now after trying to read it I have a headache. Seriously, I'm pretty sure this site offers beta readers. Either take the time to do it yourself or please get one of them to do it. For now I'll let this fanfiction play out in my head since I'm not gonna bother trying to read it.

And for the record people, there is a difference between a review like mine and a flame. A flame serves absolutely no purpose other than to say a story sucks.

GAH?! Are you seriously going to stop writing this story?! WHY?! I really like it! IT'S AWSOME! You should just ignore the people who flame! It's their problem if they don't like something about your story! So you really shouldn't stop writing it! T_T

Hey!
I just wanted to say that the stories are not about having correct grammar or spelling because one thing is for sure I am usless at typing and re checking even though I don't login much.
I also wanted to say that I very much enjoy this story and I hope that the flames do not upset you so much as to not continue because your wriitng style is funny and flows well.
I hope you od continue this and look forward ot reading more.
Another thing, some people have nothing better to do with their lives than to flame other peoples work, its like that on every site.

Interesting...but it is terribly hard to follow along with who is talking and where they are when you switch with all the dialogue and there is no other content to tell the reader what's going on.

Other than that...yeah.

For hte love of all that is living will you get someone to proof-read this before you post it? I can't tell what's worse, your sloppy writing style, or the poorly done grammar. I swear a pre-schooler could do a better job. Get a decent beta that has laces on their shoes instead of velco straps and you might have a decent story.

:3
i like it so far!!

haha! they were all neked! I was laughing my ** off on that one!