Wow! This story is very well-written. Your writing style is quite effective for the story's content. It heightens descriptions and emotional elements. I really like how you created such a great contrast from the light-hearted beginning to the despair at the end. I like the humor you used to depict the brothers' early years. You portrayed Moses' emotional state in the second half very well: the pain, despair, frustration, and anger are real and agonizing.

Well done!

Beautiful and it makes me cry. The let my people dance bit made me laugh. I wish he could have just stayed.

I've been convinced for years that Yahweh needed to die in a fire for that "hardening Pharaoh's heart" ** He pulled, but it had never occurred to me to consider it from Moses's angle.

It becomes about twenty times more heinous, doesn't it? Wow. Because Moses is totally stuck with Him; it's not like he can just refuse to lead his people out of Egypt, so he's forced to collaborate with the guy who's torturing his brother just to show off.

Which he KNOWS he's doing, because Yahweh can't just quietly be a psychopath in His own head, He has to go and tell Moses about it. Even though it has no effect on anything other than to make Moses's already hellish life that bit more hellish. (And to raise awkward questions at the Passover seders of future generations.)

Wow. And I thought Exodus was full of fail _before_. Stay classy, Hashem.

Very well done. I thought the movie did a surprisingly good job of capturing the horror of the whole thing, and you've been very true to that, and to the characters. Good fanfic.

Also a rather good midrash. Bravo.

This story is GREAT! You do really well in describing Moses' feelings. I always like it when a fanfic writer gets inside a character's feelings. I also really like the film "Prince of Egypt," so I thank you for writing this.

aww this was sweet! you got their personalities perfect. im lovin how you portrayed Rameses. :) keep up the good work

That was really, really great. I loved it. The emotions were expressed really freely and I saw how much sadness Moses had after meeting his brother before they departed. This is really nice, once again. Thanks for posting this. :D

I think you managed to capture Moses' pain very well. It's how I see him in the movie, with a cracked and crumbling heart even while continuing to do God's deeds. Lovely.