Wow. I like this. I remember you from her story. This take on Kaiba was interesting. At first I thought it's weird to have him doing this, but add Mokuba to the mix, and anything possible.

I love how you added on to her story about his past. You made it more complete. You are both good writers, different and still good. It's great how you built on everything and made it consistent and had it make sense.

Yeah, his step-father did take away his innocent and his smile. But Mokuba can always bring back his smile at least, it's always sweet to see.

That was, if I may sum it up in two words, completely aborable! Aww!

That was wonderful. Simply wonderful. I loved it because, unlike me, you didn't change their story for dramatic purposes(I'm so guilty for that. I can't help myself sometimes:p) You told it like it is, without making it boring or less interesting. "he let that smile take over his face, and sped up his pace" for some reason I'm in love with that quote. Might even put it in my profile whenever I get around to changing it like I told you I would all those ages ago. But anyways, I must be off to PM you my darling. You'll hear more from me soon.

Do what you love and love what you do.

Always.-Kari

This was great! I liked your word choices. And the essence to it was so real. It shows kind of like where Kaiba comes from and what has built him to be what he is. Great job! I liked it alot.)