Awrsome and soo funny, please update soon

thaxies for the cookie!
once again i love your story. even though your partsare shorter than my other stories i read(its not a bad thing the others are like 50 words a part it takes me forever to finish them) its still just as, if not better, than most of them.. and way better than what i can do.
i cant wait til the next chapter!

-Akari

please write more your story is great!

Great story so far! However, I think you could improve by describing how your characters look like, and grammar! But I really like the story. If you want it beta-ed (have spelling and grammar corrected) then feel free to ask me!

This chapter was great, I can't wait to see how a meeting with the hokage will go, that should be interesting.

You wanted grammar/spelling corrections, right? Because I've found these mistakes:
The characters is probably a little OOC… (is should be are)
closed my eyes as the pain shoot trough my body (you missed the h in through)
Kira jumped in front of me protected me from the needles (missing a comma or conjunction between 'front of me' and 'protected me')
I tought silently in my mind (again, just forgot the h in thought)

I've never seen Okay spelled with an e instead of an a, but it's only a minor thing.

also, the rapid change in POVs is a bit confusing. not to sound mean or anything, but it's giving me a slight headache trying to wrap my head around several different story lines.

This is intersting, and I think it has potential. You're from norway? Could have fooled me! You've got better grammar and spelling than some of the people on here from America! So Kudos to you!

Also, heads up, Kira is a boys name. I got into a fight with somebody about it before, so maybe have some character comment on it so that readers know that you know? Just a suggestion, though. I don't think it'll matter that much.

Um, I hope this gets a little less confusing, because my head was spinning with all the characters you introduced at once. Maybe you could take a step back an introduce each character a little better?

This is only through the first chapter though, so maybe you've already cleared some of these up. I'll be reading to find out!

i lurvved it^-^ i cant wait till youu up date!umm.. well.. byebyes!!

-Akari

Really interesting route you took, I can't wait to see who attacked Kairai and what happens next.

I really liked this chapter, it's really good, you probably already planned this but you could have Kairai meeting Zabuza and the others happening across them and all sorts of confusion for everyone or something, just an idea, I'm not very good at story writing.

I love your story so much! please continue it soon ! oh and The chipmunks rule(not even close to being related)! please continue and ill give you all the cherries in the world!

I like this fanfiction it's quite funny you're very good at writing, please update as soon as possible.

i LOVE your story! please up date soon^-^ 'i hope one falls for hidan...' haha sasuke's a duck butt.. welp... PLEASE UPDATE SOON!

Oh, Sounds cool! I can't wait to see what happens;)