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Bluedermis
2009-02-20 . chapter 12
I'm back, with more replies from the Author!



"Okay...What does "wasset" mean?

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Was Set, typo sorry"

Apology accepted. Don't let it happen again. Spellcheck FTW


"What date? Show me it, please?

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4-6-08"

Sorry, you must have misunderstood. I meant what date in WARCRAFT, not in real life.

"THATS WHAT ALL HEALING SPELLS DO.

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in a sense however healing JUTSU are more of a neutral, not light or shadow"

No. Shadow doesn't HEAL. LIGHT heals. Shadow destroys. The reason only Shadow works on undead goes back to D&D, but the explanation for Warcraft is that it strengthens the necromantic magic, whereas healing destroys it. Thats why healing DOES NOT WORK ON UNDEAD IN WARCRAFT.

"When did you say this? Please tell.

-

Dang I misread my own work... ok I apologize"

As above, apology accepted, don't let it happen again, Beta reader FTW.

"Garona isn't half human. She went in with the first wave to attack Azeroth.
She is, in fact, half DRAENEI

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Really? could have fooled me as she was able to infiltrate STORMWIND during the FIRST WAR as a servent and kill King Lain(the original king of Stormwind)"

If you've read the books, you'll know that she was an ambassador from the Horde to Medivh. She was a friend of Khadgar and King Llane. Unfortunately, she fell victim to Medivh's mind-scrambling magic. She then assassinated Llane.

"So, if Thrall (A shaman) is dead, how does he come back?

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I had a couple answers for that...but the main one is this I MADE A HUMAN ERROR, and the other one was Alter of Storms lol"

Okay. First answer- Okay, permissible, if not good. Second answer- Only two left. Both of those are Second War, and so wouldn't work.

"Wait, I made a mistake here. The Forsaken are: Undead Humans, and Undead Elves. And Abominations

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still a mixed race"

What? Humans and elves didn't mix. That means, as undead, they are NOT a mixed race. Noob.

"You do know the campaign doesn't actually concentrate on the story, but rather on teaching you to play that race? How else do the Forsaken have Obsidian Statues?

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I can think of a few reasons I mean Sylvanas was a leader of a full sect of the Scourge"

What do you mean? Do you mean before the Lich King lost his power? I believe after that, Sylvanas was a lot less militarily strong. Also, Obsidian Statues were tools of the Lich King!

"I've been playing Warcraft since WC2 came out

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I've been playing since Warcraft 1 came out and I still play all the games"

And? I don't even know why I responded in the first place. The games don't follow the canon completely. Want canon? Check the Blizzard books, and the time line on the World of Warcraft site.
Bluedermis
2009-02-18 . chapter 13
"lets see you don't read do you, this wasset into the FUTURE of WoW not the current line, Arthas has been beaten, the Forsaken are free entirely someof them even finally being able to just die and join their families, Sylvanas is not OOC(well maybe for her current character, but not from the older games)"

Okay...What does "wasset" mean?

The Forsaken CAN die, in the current line we are about to be Arthas, in NORTHREND, NOT STRATHOLME.

Sylvanas, in WC 3 was a sneaky devil woman. Now...Now you're showing her as a manic depressive? Thats kinda like what happens in WoW, but shes angry or depressed. Not happy or depressed.

Reply 3!
"Now, you may not know this, in fact as far as I can see you
probably don't. Scarlet Crusade got WTFpwned in WotLK

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Never played it, so yeah I did not know I'll play it soon enough, if you would check the date of the story you would notice it is BEFORE the WotLK

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Next, the healing spells. As an undead, trying to HEAL a forsaken is a good weapon

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Cellular regeneration not light spells do your research on Naruto first geez

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Why "the Horde, not to mention the Forsaken"? The Forsaken are part of the Horde. If you meant to emphasize the Forsaken's involvement, you should have said "especially the Forsaken".

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I had said that during the 'final war' with the Scourge the Forsaken withdrew from the horde

-

THEN you make the foolish point that you believe all the races want to cross-breed. Now, we'll start with the human/dwarf crossbreeding. DWARVES do NOT equal short humans with beards. They do NOT share the same DNA that humans do. They were turned to flesh and blood from STONE.

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... I have no comment here but can you honestly say there isn't any cross breeds? I mean the half-orc Grona(sorry can't spell her name) was half HUMAN

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The teachers of the Holy Light were all killed? How? Where? Why? Shamans all were killed? Damn, and I thought Thrall and Cairne would be protected better. Guess they're expendable, being the leaders of the Horde

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A human mistake, ok? and also they could be killed do you think they would waste troops to protect themselves in the middle of a battle?

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Orcs and Dwarves? See above, but substitute "Stormwind" for "Ironforge".
TAUREN ARE BOVINES! Elves are racist. Forsaken are DEAD. EVERY CELL OF THEIR BODY IS DEAD. They are NOT a mixed race. They are pure UNDEAD HUMAN or pure UNDEAD ELF or even pure UNDEAD DWARF

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AH hence why they are a 'mixed' race, human, ORC(you missed them), troll, elf, dwarf, and even some gnomes, all undead I'll give you that however they still are what they are

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Ghouls belong to the SCOURGE. THE SCOURGE ONLY

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in a word, bull, Ghouls are the lumber harvesters of the UNDEAD thus the Forsaken have them as well

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BUGGER THIS. I'm giving up trying to cure your of your IGNORANCE. GO AWAY.

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I guess in a way I could thank you, but insult my intelligence? BAH! how long have you been playing Warcraft at all? Hmm? now I admit I don't have WotLK but that is forgivable"

Text WALL! Okay.

First Section

What date? Show me it, please?

Second Section

THATS WHAT ALL HEALING SPELLS DO.

Third Section

When did you say this? Please tell.

Fourth Section

Garona isn't half human. She went in with the first wave to attack Azeroth. She is, in fact, half DRAENEI.

Fifth Section

So, if Thrall (A shaman) is dead, how does he come back?

Sixth Section

Wait, I made a mistake here. The Forsaken are: Undead Humans, and Undead Elves. And Abominations.

Seventh section

You do know the campaign doesn't actually concentrate on the story, but rather on teaching you to play that race? How else do the Forsaken have Obsidian Statues?

Eight Section

I've been playing Warcraft since WC2 came out.
Bluedermis
2009-02-18 . chapter 14
Yay! I got some replies from the Author!

Reply 1!

"OK while I AM rewriting this story I thought I'l point out something

-

Frost Armor on others was only castable by Liches. Servants of
the Scourge. Is that what Isabella is?

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No she is not a lich however lichs are not the only ones able to cast Frost Armor, for example the Naga Siren can as well as can a few other critters on WoW"


Really? Can they cast it on other characters? If not, my original point is CORRECT, NOOB.


Reply 2!
Bluedermis
2009-02-18 . chapter 4
Okay! Chapter 4.

First, some massive scene changes. Really needed?

Next, Flare seems to be really short-tempered... How come he is still alive?

Thirdly, Sylvanas DOESN'T CAST SPELLS. SHE IS A DARK RANGER.

Fourthly, Rathar turns from explaining to a leader of the horde to attacking her guards. How come Sylvanas didn't, I don't know, STOP HIM?

Fifthly, Thunderbluff is a LONG way from Orgrimmar, requiring travel through the Crossroads, and possibly Camp Taurajo, to get to.

On your notes, Frost Armor on others was only castable by Liches. Servants of the Scourge. Is that what Isabella is?

If the cleave was only doing that, Rathar would have died. As well as Isabella. Possibly Flare as well.
Bluedermis
2009-02-18 . chapter 3
Chapter 3. Another abomination.

Okay. Lets start with the dragons.

Red Dragons belong to the Red Dragonflight. As a dragon, they are naturally haughty. They wouldn't let anyone ride them, unless they were raised to be ridden from birth. As this dragon does not have a name, I doubt that.

Next, onto the Rogue. ROGUES DON'T USE SPELLS. THEY DO NOT USE MANA, THEREFORE NO SPELLS. He has ABILITIES. SKILLS. Do you get my point now? Must I go further? Being able to see past spells will NOT help you see him.

Mana and Chakra...Mana and chakra. Mana sensitives may exist in other worlds. Not in WoW. Mages are not your people who have natural abilities. They learn spells and practice them. They are wizards, not sorcerors. Flaring mana? What? Mana is merely the power they use for spells. They cannot flare it, without actually casting the spell Flare.

Sylvanas talking with a lowly mage? She is a LEADER, not a helper. Also, why "chuckling"? That doesn't seem to fit with her main line "What are we if not slaves to this torment?". OOC ALERT!

Next, why do you feel the need to do the a/n about how Sylvanas doesn't know about the recent attack? How could she?
Bluedermis
2009-02-18 . chapter 2
Okay. Chapter 2. Now, you may not know this, in fact as far as I can see you probably don't. Scarlet Crusade got WTFpwned in WotLK. Footmen are professional soldiers. They are also considerably more intelligent than you show them as.

Next, the healing spells. As an undead, trying to HEAL a forsaken is a good weapon. To heal them, you have to use shadow energy.

The Scarlet Crusade were not, as you decided to depict them, a bunch of idiots. They were fanatical followers of the Holy Light. However, their methods against the Scourge were mostly successful. That is why the Alliance tolerated them.

Now, I'll go over your opening.

Stratholme was not a real threat. It was being fought over by the Scarlet Crusade and the Scourge. No real dangerous Scourge here, except Baron Rivendare.

Why "the Horde, not to mention the Forsaken"? The Forsaken are part of the Horde. If you meant to emphasize the Forsaken's involvement, you should have said "especially the Forsaken".

Next. The teachers of the Holy Light were all killed? How? Where? Why?

Shamans all were killed? Damn, and I thought Thrall and Cairne would be protected better. Guess they're expendable, being the leaders of the Horde.

Any other religious teachers? You sure about this? I somehow doubt it.

THEN you make the foolish point that you believe all the races want to cross-breed. Now, we'll start with the human/dwarf crossbreeding.

DWARVES do NOT equal short humans with beards. They do NOT share the same DNA that humans do. They were turned to flesh and blood from STONE.

Orcs and humans have a colourful history. Amongst the most recent is the current KING OF STORMWIND DECLARING WAR ON THE HORDE! This is while they were fighting the Scourge! WHY WOULD HE STOP WHEN THE SCOURGE WAS DEAD?

Orcs and Dwarves? See above, but substitute "Stormwind" for "Ironforge".

TAUREN ARE BOVINES!

Elves are racist.

Forsaken are DEAD. EVERY CELL OF THEIR BODY IS DEAD. They are NOT a mixed race. They are pure UNDEAD HUMAN or pure UNDEAD ELF or even pure UNDEAD DWARF.

Ghouls belong to the SCOURGE. THE SCOURGE ONLY.

ABOMINATIONS ARE BLOODY DISEASE CARRIERS MADE OF DEAD FLESH PATCHED TOGETHER. NOBODY WHO IS ALIVE LIKES THEM.

Zombies, again, BELONG TO THE SCOURGE.

BUGGER THIS. I'm giving up trying to cure your of your IGNORANCE. GO AWAY.
Bluedermis
2009-02-17 . chapter 1
I'm only going to review the first page, as thats all I could stomach at this time. Firstly, the Zombies are not the main threat. Although there are large numbers of Zombies, destroying them would not break the power of the Scourge. They are, quite literally, the CANNON FODDER. The main danger is that of the Necromancers, the Nerub'Ar, the Liches.

Strangely, the main weapon of the Scourge is the fact that it can use as many troops as it needs, not the plague. In fact, the plague has not played a major role in any of the clashes with the Scourge Post-Arthas. Not to mention, the Nerubians were immune to the plague. For some reason, they were defeated too.
Byakugan789
2009-02-14 . chapter 2
You have a problem with not seperating paragraphs properly and I can't tell if you simply don't know much about naruto WC and WoW or if you don't care enough to put in any real effort.

You don't see undead in stormwind because they aren't allowed in, They're enemies of the alliance and allies of the hoard, not a part of it.

The scarlet crusiade are outcasts due to their fanaticism and not allowed on most of the alliance or hoard cities and are attacked on sight in undercity as are all living humans who aren't in the cultof the damned.

Scourge don't get into Stormwind period, both the harbor and the main gate are heavily guarded especialy when the Xavarin citidels are in the sky.

Typically shinobi don't run out of chakra nearly that fast but you have used several big ticket numbers like summoning and shadow clones which divide the users chakra evenly between all bodies on top of draining a large amount of chakra simply to form. for the most part your fights havn't been that bad but it's highly unlikely any dragon woud allow themselves to be summoned and the gold dragon are reclusive to a level that is positivly rediculous.

Kitsune duo; Despite fanfictions that feature other shinobi using the nine tails only the host can ever use a sealed entities powers. period. If you want your person to have somthing similar he could have another creature sealed within him and put any number of quirks on your seal you wish but use of narutos own beast is limited to him. other wise you're going to need one hell of an explanation of why this OOC has access to somthing that is impossible. Best bet would be somthing with fuinjutsu.

Healing jutsu; If you lack fine control all you can ever accomplish is charging someone elses technique and giving it an extra kick. outside of resurections and age alterations healing jutsu really doesn't require much in the way of chakra but if you have a lack of control you won't even get off the ground.

this is all i've come up with in the first two blurbs but hey, you asked
Ian Reid
2009-01-11 . chapter 1
I honestly can't bring myslf to enjoy this. I really can't. Naruto and World of Warcraft are two entirely different fandoms that are non-compatible. I suppose then, you'll get you change weapons in Warhammer Online by shouting "Bankai!" or go in search of the treasure One Piece in Pirates of the Caribean. Hell, you might well search for the SHikon jewel shards in Lord of the Rings.

My point is the story sucks. Harsh, cruel, unnecessarily vulgar and rude, call it what you will. What I'm saying is if you're going to write a crossover, be sure there are points with which the fandoms in question have in common. A ninja would make for an interesting class in World of Warcraft; but introducing Ninjas to Azeroth without any real explanation as to how they got there in the first place doesn't make it all that compelling.

Oh, and ' "Toruneedo Raitoniningu!" ' is very unnecessary. Seriously, no point in it whatsoever.
Sir Chris Orr
2008-09-06 . chapter 13
so...when can we expect the next chapter? ^_^
AprilRyn
2008-07-15 . chapter 4
great story!
Sir Chris Orr
2008-05-26 . chapter 12
Well...This is unique. But I mean it in a good way.
I'm trying to figure this one out. Is Flare x Isabella a case of necrophilia or is it not, hard to figure out, as necrophilia is making love to a corpse but she isn't a corpse, undead but not dead. Any how great story, 1 question, how come no one is reviewing? O_o As far as I have read, this is turning out to be a real kick a$$ story. I look forward to more.
YoshiMagick
2008-04-08 . chapter 4
Nice Story, although each chapter is kind of short, the author notes are kinda long.

It is a great story, but there could have been more explanation of how a shinobi ended up on azeroth?

And how does Flare know of Naruto's moves? Is he secretly Naruto?

This story is unlike all the other Fanfictions that I have read, You used a OC as a main character instead of Naruto, and this is a nice change.

Maybe more spacing between each person's talk, for example

"(flare's Blah)"

"(Mage's Blah)"

"(Flare's Blah)"

The spaces makes the text easier to read.

Overall it is a nice story.

Yoshimagick,
Lv 63 Human mage,
Server: Silvermoon.
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