oh poor Jiraiya... ^^

That's the first story I ever read where Jiraiya and Sakumo are kids. It's really fun and I like how you let Sakumo have so much in common with Kakashi.
It's nice to read a story about how the two first meet and a cool way for their friendship to start.

Nice oneshot, thanks for that =)
me

BTW I'm sorry for any mistakes there my be, I'm not a native speaker^^

Hmm, seems interesting. It's so hard to actually find anything that involves Sakumo. I'd like to read more, definately. Update soon please~

That was fun. I like seeing Jiraiya and Sakumo at that age. I think you picked a good way of characterizing Sakumo. Cheers!

Quick question: Is Sakumo supposed to be a prodigy? I don't recall getting much information about him.

Anyway, entertaining story. Child Jiraiya fits well. I look forward to reading some of your other stories.

Hmm! Fascinating little encounter, certainly never one I've seen before:) I really enjoyed your characterization of Jiraiya, and to a lesser extent Sakumo.

Sakumo is almost an OC for purposes of fanfics, but I just think he'd be a little less...grim and serious. But that's just a personal flavor preference, really, so don't put too much weight on that criticism. It's just difficult for me to imagine someone putting friends over a mission being as 'mission-oriented' as Sakumo seems here.

Also not really a fan of Jiraiya getting made out to be a chump...he gets a bad rap IMO in fanfics, but I can't much complain about that in this story, either, because he was young, and he went into that fight half-cocked as you illustrated well.

If you do continue this story past one-shot stage, I would ask just as a fan of both the Hatakes AND Jiraiya, not to make the latter a dunce. It just...doesn't really fit.

I've always been curious about the relationship between these two characters--you've definitely caught my attention as a result! Your first chapter is engaging and creative. Good work!

i love these stories of sakumo and jiraiya.

Haha! That was GOOD! Like father like son! Lol! :D

hahaha, sakumo is younger than jiraiya, isn't he? yeah, he's pretty awesome too. i really like this. i don't think anybody's ever written about the mysterious white fang. so, i would love if you added even more chapter to this. keep it up, cuz you know i always look forward to reading your fics!

this is good i hope u continue ^^

Lol! Poor Jiraiya!
This is really sweet. I can totally see Jiraiya getting his rear handed to him by Sakumo. Nicely done!