|Reviews for Lunière|
| Obsesive Reader 10/17/09 . chapter 20
This is great please continue and update soon.
| Lori94 10/14/09 . chapter 20
That was FAB! I can't wait to read further! I love Alice's POV!
| I.am.a.God.you.dull.creature 10/8/09 . chapter 20
I love your take on Alice's version of the story :)
| lovemyjake 10/8/09 . chapter 20
Yeah, I love your story. Alice is such a great character and you write her beautifully! Can't wait for more to come. :)
| sora kinomoto 10/7/09 . chapter 20
I absolutely love your fic! I became a fan of the couple this weekend XD (because I hadn't seen the movie before P). I have to be honest, I don't really want to read the book because I don't care about Edward/Bella at all, but I adoro Alice/Jasper! (And Alice became my favourite character D). I love your narration, and how you handle Alice/Edward relationship. It is now one of my favourite fics! I hope you'll continue this soon D
| geophf 10/4/09 . chapter 9
Ch 9: Snow
Just one little comment. Okay, maybe a couple.
Bad stuff first? I've noticed a couple of word choice and grammatical errors that rather detract from the beauty and delight of this story.
* The characters saying "Anyways" repeatedly (e.g. ch 6, but throughout the story up to this chapter). Of course, there's no such word: the word is "anyway." This is a modern error that turn of the century vampires would not make.
* Sentences running without punctuation. Something like: "He felt badly though" should be "He felt badly, though." Or (specifically in ch 7) "I have to support him in this Jasper" should be "I have to support him in this, Jasper."
* Mixing objective and nominative cases "for him and I" should be "for him and me." Which is the same error as confusing the cases, such as in this chapter "she'd have Esme and I to contend with" should be "she'd have Esme and me to contend with."
All these errors are covered, I believe, in Strunk and White, which is freely available on-line. And a diligent and accomplished grammar-nazi beta should have caught all these errors.
Enough of the ick.
It was just one little thing in this chapter that started "it" all for me. When Alice took out the scarves for her siblings, that's when "it" began to click.
"What 'it'?" you ask.
Glad you asked.
It was this incident in this chapter of this story that showed me that vampires are Other. They were human, once, yes, but now they are not. They have entirely changed species, and in this change, they are not human, they are Something Else. Something else entirely, and that got me to thinking.
Because if you have to hide the fact that you don't breathe the same as people, then you are hiding Something. You are hiding your Difference. And this difference is not accidental or only on the surface, but it is something intrinsic ... I will even say 'essential' ... even if it offends the Sartrists here.
Vampires, by their very existence (see, I can play nice, too), are not human. They look human, they pretend to be human, but they are not human. They exist, they have intellect, they have form and substance, but beyond that ... they are different.
Certainly, Steph portrayed this in her books, and we all took it in, but here siDEADde shows us, from the vampire side, that this difference is part of the daily negotiations: don't drink their blood, obviously, but, not so obviously, but very importantly, hide the fact that you don't respire, because that gives away just as much to an observant human as ripping out a person's throat gives away the game.
The scarves in this chapter was my epiphany. Here the door opened to my adventure of exploring what a vampire is and what a vampire is not. Without this trigger, I would have continued on in my illusion that "vampires are people that, like, drink blood and stuff." I would view Other as my reflection, and that is a very serious error, for, truly, they are as different from people as the angels are (just on the opposite side of the coin, as it were).
People oftentimes anthropomorphize angels ... but they soon learn the error of their ways, because, invariably, an angel's first words are "Be not afraid."
People oftentimes anthropomorphize vampires as writers of fan fiction. But their meeting a vampire will be just as scary as meeting an angel, but a vampire, if it is wont to say anything, would say "be very afraid."
Vampires are not people. Not in the slightest. And it was the scarves in this chapter that opened my eyes to that fact so obvious but so often overlooked.
siDEADde, your attention to this detail is so you. Thank you for it.
p.s. I had read this chapter long ago, forgotten it, forgotten the scarves, developed my own theories on vampire essence, and moved on ... right back to scarves. In my story "My Sister Rosalie" (MSR), ch 40 ("Rule Number One"), Rosalie and Bella take a stroll through some woods in the winter, and Rosalie points out this difference between them. I had forgotten my source, but now I remember. Your story is now properly credited in mine with giving me this inspiration on respiration.
| geophf 9/24/09 . chapter 4
I was just, you know, scanning. That's all I was doing: just scanning your story.
Just skimming it, that's all.
And I knew your story; I've read it already, left reviews elsewhere, so, of course, I know this story well ... no need to leave a review on this here chapter, 'cause I'm only scanning this story.
And I was _fine_ for the first three chapters. Nothing unusual to see. Bubbly Alice, devoted but troubled Jasper, and then the other shoe drops with Edward's departure. No big deal ... done well (superbly, in fact) here, but I've already read it here, no reason to be stunned.
None at all.
Then you drop the hammer. You give us "Chapter 4: Bella." And, with it, you do it to me again: you pull out my heart strings and play "Prélude à l'après-midi d'un faune" ... the prélude, musically, prefigures Tristan und Isolde: liebestod.
And that's an apt comparison here, for the ambiguity of the prélude is paralleled in your story that retells "Twilight." Alice does not know why even she feels the pull of this not-Rosalie-beautiful mere mortal of a girl, but feel it, she does, and through her, we all do.
But, with your story, we feel so much more, for we've read Twilight, and we do know the pull Edward feels, and we know the pull your Alice feels, and as we know and feel this, and as we watch Alice feel, but not yet know why, we ache. We ache for Alice to get to the knowing, and then, when knowing, to get to the embracing.
But there's so much more here in this chapter, and the so much more is Bella. Bella, here, is not the protagonist, but even here, even when she has the bit part of being observed, our focus sharpens from the light interest of watching Alice and the other vampires in school to Bella, just Bella, at home, in the kitchen, eyes reddened from her cry over the very strange (to Charlie) meal she's prepared for her Char-... dad.
And, even in her frailty and clumsiness and plainness and brownness, you give Bella her dignity. She trips, but she has a self-possessed grace, she's plain compared to Rosalie (ACCORDING TO YOUR ALICE'S VIEW) but she has an inner beauty that shows forth, permeating her being, she's been crying and sorrowful, but she has a steely determination in the way she carries out her work responsibly.
She suffers, but she carries on.
O! How we wish we could show Bella the beauty and strength that she does not know she has, that she does not see she has when she looks at that plain, pale girl with brown, brown, brown, boring brown hair, eyes and sweater in the mirror every morning before school.
And Alice's heart goes out to the girl.
But what happens when a vampire's attentions are bent to a mortal? Edward knows; Rosalie knows, and they'll both tell you that their end was not a happy one.
Well, they would tell you, that is, if Rule Number One wasn't sealing their mouths shut.
But this little girl ...
There's something different about her ... might she be The One? You know: the one that makes a difference, the one that finally gives sad, sullen, sulky, serious Edward ... well, something to look forward to other than this purgatory of boring monotony day after day? Like Jasper is for me and I for him?
Ooh! Let's not get ahead of ourselves, eh, Alice?
And there you leave us with a perfect ending to this chapter. You built a house upon a foundation of melancholy and then you put in a sunroof and let that one bright ray of sunlight burst through the gray and cloudy Forks weather.
Here I was sorrowfully wallowing as Alice watching the poor girl recover from her Edward encounter by fixing supper for Charlie, by the end of the chapter the excitement and anticipation were palpable.
It is a testament to your skillfulness that such a simple, sad, little chapter would leave me with baited breath. It is a testament to your understanding of the characters that you painted Bella in her true colours: shy brown, quiet brown, sad brown, but ... solemn brown, dignified brown, determined brown.
That's what colour this chapter was: beautiful brown.
Thank you for it.
| bookworm19065 9/19/09 . chapter 20
This story is soo good! Love it! Great job
2 queations though:
1. are you writing only a twilight alice prespective or all the books prespective?
2. can you tell me what they said in spanish?
| thisldo 9/14/09 . chapter 20
Hey there, I'm really enjoying this fic. I love your characterization of Alice and I love the family interaction you portray.
| LeahRose111 9/11/09 . chapter 20
Thank you for this story. I just found it and really enjoy it. I can't wait for the next chapter!
| okievamp 9/4/09 . chapter 20
| Claw 8/29/09 . chapter 20
Lovely and rich, there just can't be enough Alice to go around.
| sncmom 8/28/09 . chapter 20
I am addicted. thanks a lot.
| PhoenixRising1989 8/26/09 . chapter 20
ABSOLUTE LOVE! AWW I waited months for this story and I am soo glad I did, this chapter was great! Alice is a little more angsty than I actually imagined her, but I like! lol awesome! Hey please check out my stories and let me know what you think! _
| tnuccio 8/26/09 . chapter 20
Hello Amy darlin'...sorry I wasn't here to help!
The things I love...
"he had to play knight in sparkly armor"
"rain streaming down the windows with only Bella’s side fogged. I wonder if she noticed"
"I stepped into my favorite pair of canary-yellow Fendi rain boots" - cuz it matches the upcoming car of course...
Oh My Amy...this was wonderful!
“It wouldn’t be fair to let Edward walk around alone in his own personal hairicaine.” He slid the fingers of his free hand up through my hair, pulling the smoothed style on end. “Plus I like the chaos, it suits you.”
he he he...little dig here?
"or maybe Cassandra, since you don’t believe me half the time."
I need to translate that spanish I'm guessing!
“Damnation girl, can’t you just stay put for moment?” That is awesome and so very Alice / Bella.