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| LttleDvl 2008-04-23 ch 1,  | abuseThe only thing that makes me curious is the distance and timing. Is Murdock at the hospital in LA here? If so, it will take a lot longer than half a night to drive there from Ft. Bragg. Even traveling at high speeds, it will likely take a minimum of 24 hours. Other than that, I think the story is off to a good start. I do like to see some Murdock angst and you seem to have a good handle on that. Nice work! |
| shadowwalker213 2008-04-09 ch 1, | abuseThe only thing that confused me at first was the cold car and being out in the middle of nowhere - Westwood is in the Los Angeles, California, area ;-) I was thinking at first she was still out East. Other than that, it's an interesting start. I'd caution you ahead of time to watch out for Mary Sue; female OC's tend to go that route, unfortunately. But so far you seem to be skirting that. |