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| YamiDchan 2008-04-16 ch 1,  | abuseThis is good! Please write another chapter. The description is nice without being too cluttered, and I like how you describe you're Shepard. Is this going to be a yaoi fic? That'd be cool if it was. There aren't too many of those type of fics in the Mass Effect section, just yuri. |
| The Ginger Ninja 2008-04-13 ch 1, | abuseIts descriptive, flows well and has good mood setting - me likey! You've done a good job on it hun (^^) *poke* Ginger Ninja x x |
| EasterOfFlesh 2008-04-13 ch 1, | abuseThis looks extremely promising. The part about Garrus made me laugh. Think we could get a oneshot or something detailing that? *hopeful* |
| Fegli 2008-04-12 ch 1, | abuseIs it going to be a chapter fic? I thought it also worked great as a stand-alone: just a glimpse into Shepard's psyche post-Mass Effect, and also his relationship with Garrus. I like your Shepard so far, how you were able to glean a lot about his personality without explicitly stating it. And thanks for not starting by summarizing the plot of the game and your conjecture on what happened afterward. Keeping the story in the present and letting past stories slip out gradually seems to be a rough point for a LOT of game fan-ficcers. There were just a few spelling/grammar mistakes that I saw: "he eyed the untouched drink as if poison were its contents." |
| Ange De Mort La Pomme De Sa... 2008-04-10 ch 1, | abuseAn interesing read... I don't think I have found many stories with Lorik as a secondary character to stand beside Sheppard. And your grammar and style is improving with my earlier suggestions I see. It's a good idea, so continue as long as you enjoy your writing. -Ange |
| Chaosian 2008-04-10 ch 1, | abuseo i like the beginning of this! ^_^ |