Mystical Machine Gun 2008-05-23 . chapter 1The beginning was lovely; the angst could be touched with bare fingers, the sadness...I truly felt everything :D The ending with the uke thing...hmm, personally the story did not need it. You convey the feelings wonderfully, but keep it simple like in the beginning - that way the story stays coherent and "the same". What I means is, you are good at writing about frustration and sadness (I love those themes, maybe you've noticed ;D) - keep that up and if you want try something else, alter the little thing slowly :) I liked this one :D |