Interesting story, I enjoyed it.

...
Look, I'm gonna be COMPLETLY honest with you...I think that this story sucks.
Reasons:
-Pairing: As if Nala would EVER leave Simba for her DAUGHTER's husband, heck, Nala wouldn't leave Simba no-matter-what!
And what in the world of dave you the idea that VITANI is PRETTY?! ...

-You made Simba, Tovu, Kiara, Nala and maybe even Vitani TOTALLY OUT OF CHARACTER:
Nala: I already told you the reason in point one
Simba: As if he'd ever tell Kiara about it, and BANN Nala if he loves her so much. And getting over it so soon, no way
Tovu: NO WAY IN HELL WOULD HE MAKE-OUT WITH HIS MOTHER-IN-LAW, OR EVEN THINK ABOUT BETRAYING KIARA, WHOM HE TRIED SO HARD TO BE WITH IN THE FIRST FRIGGIN PLACE
Kiara: Like hell she would loose interest in Tovu and, like Simba, get over it so soon
Vitani: I dunno her character

-The way the story was written: You rushed up like you were about to die if you wouldn't finish it within a day. You can't do that, being Author requires patients.

DO NOT TAKE THIS PERSONALY, this is simply my own point of view. I appologize if I offened you in any way, but I'm not the kind of person who covers her thoughts with suger, I'm straight and harsh. About the whole out of characters: It's Fanfiction, so it doesn't really matter, but, like i said before, this is my personal point of view.

I wish you more luck with your next fanfic

You know, I have had in my mind an idea for a Simba/Nala infedelity and break up story and if done right, even though it's TOTALLY out of cannon, it could be good.

This though? this is crap. No offense but there is is, straight and in the open. I don't mince words and sugar coat things. you need to hear it straight. I will, however, state why I say it is crap.

You start out great. In fact, the beginning totally hooked me in. points for that. but as soon as the first couple paragraphs end Nala is forgotten as is Kovu and we move onto what you really wanted to write. That is terrible, matey. You shouldn't sacrifice good story and proper build up for for marry sue writing and out of cannon fluff. So lets examine this deeper shall we? please keep in mind that, though I'm being harsh, I am doing it with good intention. I'm not here to put you down, just to be honest and get you to try harder with this.

So on with the examination: First of all, Kovu and Nala are treated as non-people. the naritive you use with them almost seems like fairy tale writing in that there is no build, it reads like "and then this happened and then this happened and then this happened and then they were gone for ever and ever and now we can get on with the real story!" That is not so good. if that's what you wanted, you should have treated the ENTIRE story with that naritive style.

So Simba and Kiara decide to devorce them then and there? No talks, no emotions. Um, yea right. And so simba decided to go tell his daughter right off? No father, especially over protective Simba, would do that! Parents want to spare thier child pain, not cause more! Simba would try to handle it between he, Nala, and Kovu first.

So how about Kiara? She was just ok with this? she was already out of love with Kovu? Poor Kovu! he was kinda justified then, so Kiara is a total loser? see, this doesn't work because it is clear that Kiara and Kovu could not keep thier paws off each other in the cannon. TLK 2 was infact, an alagory for Romeo and Juliet if you didn't know.

So back to Nala and Kovu. Specifically, Nala. Ok, so, she cheats on Simba, why? People in happy relationships don't suddenly do that! There is always a reason!! Always!! If she was lookin elsewhere then there is problems in the marriage and so simba just casts his child hood best friend out for ever and ever instead of trying to work things through? Um, sure. what ever, not buying it. See, this coulda been good with more thought.

So about the cast out. You have made Simba a weak, villainous character by having his do that. Kiara had made him see that his previous decision to outcast folk was wrong! so you have him do it again? and Rafiki is ok with this? Wow, Rafiki got used as a proxy to justify the main character. Not good.

And so Nala and Kiara and The Kovu Issue. A: Nala is Kiara's mom and what ever you think about her, would your mom steal your bf away from you? I'm betting not because that would be sick and wrong, right? So that's just rediculess. Nala is HAWT for a lioness. she can get is elsewhere, some rogue, someone from her past when Simba wasn't around, etc. Kiara is just ok with Daddy sending mom away for ever and ever amen? Wow, gee, thanks for having me, mom. Really appreciate that you gave me life there, yeup. -.-

Then we have simba become "Por Sad simba" and all the girlies gather round and try to make him better. no one misses Nala, completely forgetting her hunting skills, the friendships she must have had, the other sacrifices the had made, her journey to find simba, and oh, Sarafina? her mother? yea, I be she was real ok with the exile. Cuz Nala was just a ** anyway, right? -.- (I'm sarkastic but bear with me here.)

Enter Vitani. Ok, Vit HATED Simba. She is the daughter of his enemy and the sister of his ex's new toy in this. So Vit made some HUGE changes in state of mind at the end of TLK but she is STILL a spunky rough and tumble girl. She doesn't act like that here AT ALL. Further, she lost her mom. Now her brother is exiled. She is all alone. So she is rather calm about it all. LOL and again, Simba seems quite sick and evil in that he is going after her. it's like he isolated her from her family and now he is the only one she can turn too. He made it that way so there for, Vit would have 2 choices, acquiesce to Simba, or leave, but I highly doubt she'd do it so gleefully!

Lastly, Kovu and Vitani are young enough to be Simba and Nala's children and in TLK2 it is visibly clear that Simba and Nala have been aged to be middle aged adults. So this is like, sick lonely, unhappy 40 year olds having a midlife crisis go out and find cheep, young kids to make themselves feel alive again. Pardon me, but I just don't see either character, even in the most wild stretch of the characters, behaving this way. Period

Look. I know this was scathing, but it was honest and I took alot of time to write this up, so please, don't be one of those defensive emo types that gives me nastyness back for this because I will simply laugh at it. What I HOPE is, you rewrite this. I THINK THE IDEA IS GOOD! but what you did with it isn't, but it could be. so, rewrite this. do it from scratch and keep in mind the characters, the relationships, how those would really work and play out and then this could be good. ok? XD

All I can say is that it really wasn't of my taste. It just isn't possible that Nala suddenly falls in love with Kovu and Simba with Vitani. I'm sorry, but it really wasn't that great. Stick to keeping cannon pairings next time.

that was sad, unbeievable, and cute. I like it but i am glad it wsnt really in the movies. I still liked it though.

Great story. It really touched me; I know exactly what Simba went through with Nala. It's a great story, although I never would have thought of Simba and Vitani. Wonderful job.

That was really nice. Though I don't like Simba/Vitani, it was still really really really good. I liked how you wrote in Simba's POV. Hopefully you make a sequel or something. You might like my fanfic. Not sure though. Well good luck, and once again, really nice first lion king fic. Keep writing, you're really talented.

I like this! You really did this well!

Oh, it must suck when parents divorce. And I say "must" because mine are still happily married. :] (Sorry if that hurt :[)

Anyway, a very deep and enthralling story. Nala and Kovu...hm... I've only read one story involving Kovu cheating on Kiara, but he goes back to her at the end. Unfortunately this didn't seem the case. But I'm glad Simba's happy, and Vitani's my fav. lioness without question so I'm happy about that too!

So Nala and Kovu get killed by hyenas huh? Hehehe, I wonder which ones...

Great story! A little sad, but well written. Hope to see more like this from you soon!

Yours and Truly,
-Tearthgrrl