Heya Nando. What can I say? This rules. It has action, and you really get a sense of the urgency in both descriptions and dialogue. I hear all the English voice actors in my head while I read this thing. And as I am skilled in the art of fainting, I feel for Mustang when he gets dizzy, cauterizing his injuries. Poor guy. But he sure does kick the crap out of Lust. I don’t care how sexy she is.

You even threw in Al. When I see him or Ed in Royai fanfiction, he’s usually just mentioned, or used as comical effect, but you took care of every character in here, major or minor.

That was some fun dialogue at the end. Mustang will get some lovin’ later, for sure. After hurting himself like that, he needs her to take care of him. I loved Mustang comparing himself to a moth, and Riza to a flame. And a valkyrie. It all made me think of Dwight in Sin City, and an Audioslave song to boot.

Thanks for sharing, Nando! I’m really happy to finally see a FMA fic from you. Hope to see another one soon.

I loved that part where Roy likened Riza to a Valkyrie. I hadn't thought of that one before. That was great.

One of my favorite parts of the manga (of course, since I am a BIG Roy fan) and it is nice to see people expand on it (I've had some ideas of my own).

I agree that both the official and the fan translated manga each have good lines that the other doesn't have. For the most part I thought Fruit Tree Alchemists did the best job. But I have to admit that Viz surprises me once in a while. Then, on the other hand Viz also pisses me off with their sensoring or not only words but actually altering some of the artwork (like Greed on the cross!).

Anywho, great job! I'll stop rambling now. :)

I really liked this. I think you did a great job of keeping everyone in character and everything.

I guess I'll have to look for all of your other stuff now...

Sg

Awesome :D I enjoyed reading it ;)

well you made my favorite chapter of the manga even better. Great job.

It's wonderful!

Nice! That's a very powerful scene in the manga, and you've captured Roy's thoughts well. It was neat to see him coming up on Al and Riza and trying to figure out what was going on (limp faster!) I noticed the variations in translation, but I think it's sometimes difficult to make these 'on-screen' scenes work, s that helped to keep it a little bit different.