It's dramatic, it has a good plotline so far, and it's a ZADR! I never thought I'd ever find a story like this one! This totally rocks so far!

;) Really, really, really, really, really awesome job so far!

Wow.

OH I LIKE IT ALOT XD
Pleaes write more soon!
PLEASE I'LL MAKE ZIM DANCE FOR YOU!

ooh Creepy XD
I likes it a lot.

I rather enjoyed this. I do have to agree with a few of the other reviewers that A. the grammar and punctuation needs a bit of work, and B. you seem to be rushing this. I hope you haven't given up on this. I'd really like to read more of it.
~Oki

Well, Zim and Dib are a little OOC. Your grammar is a little wonky. Having homosexuality as a sin seems kind of odd, considering that both Tallests seem to be male and involved or at least that’s the vibe I got from them; but whatever, your story. And isn’t your title a Linkin Park song?

Yay, you unblocked me! : )

wow, that was really good! i hope for more!

The initial idea is interesting -nothing I've read so far, which is a good thing- but your text need more work.

You seem to be rushing everything (plot exposition, character development, descriptions) to get to the action faster. Like your intro, there is no need to explain how they became lovers all in the first paragraph, let your readers guess it by themselves. The usual Tallest-abandon-Zim and Dib-realizes-the-Earth-is-not-worth-it doesn't even need an intro because it's been overly done (and the logical continuation of these characters had the series continued).

Also, it is very disorienting to read explanations of how your universe works (ex: Irken months/Earth years) in the middle of a dialog or narration. Try to order your ideas and your plot development, a plan would help greatly. Right now, the narration sounds like someone telling us a story but interrupting often to add some details, so it throws us off the story.

The best advice I could give you is to read more, more, MORE! There is knowledge of the written language (punctuation, verb tenses and scenario construction) that can only be acquired by years of reading books and fics alike.

Good luck, and I'd like to read the next chapter when you post it!

As requested. :) Me thinks you're a glutton for concrit, otherrelm. Either way, glad to be your fix. Now, this is a nice one-shot, but there's a few issues...

Punctuation
--Punctuation was off in a few places...

//Zim and Dib walked down the hallways at school holding hands ignoring the tension and hate between them 6 years earlier when Zim first arrived.//

Comma should be after 'hands'...

//Zim and Dib walked down the hallways at school holding hands, ignoring the tension and hate between them 6 years earlier when Zim first arrived.//

Another place...

// Dib then wanted to exploit it to expose him but when he tried to; he saw much of himself in him.//

Semicolon after 'to' isn't right. A comma is best. Revising...

// Dib then wanted to exploit it to expose him but when he tried to, he saw much of himself in him.//

Be careful about your commas and your semicolons; semicolons don't work ine every place.

Superfluity
--Had a lot of unncessary words in your sentences, or as I like to call it, fat. :) Here...

//He then found himself feeling like he had no worth at all.//

'Found,' 'then' 'feeling,' 'likely' and 'no worth' is total fat and it screws up the whole idea of the sentence. Revising it...

//He felt unworthy.//

There ya go! The sentence is simple, but it gets the point across damn good. Another place...

//Seeing another version of himself made him lose the desire to expose Zim, leading to a truce at first.//

'At first' is fat and it's weighing down the sentence. Edit it out. Another place...

//Dib made Zim forget about the fact that his mission was pretty much canceled and his pain.//

'Pretty much cancelled' is fat. Cut it out. Revising...

//Dib made Zim forget about his mission's cancellation and his pain.//

Basically, you don't have to add a shitload of words in a sentence so that it sounds cooler or it reads 'smarter.' It doesn't. The more useless words you've got in a sentence, the muddier the sentence gets and the less it flows.

Descriptions
--Descriptions weren't as strong as they could be. And I don't mean usin' purple prose to pump it up; just go more in depth about characters' feelings, appearances, their surroundings, and their interaction with each other. Push it a little further, 'kay?

Past/Present Tense
--In a few places, the tense was changing, like here...

//Dib was heading down//

... the tense switched from past. To revise it...

//Dib headed down//

Keeps the tense consistent and it eliminates the fat (was heading).

Plot
--Plot is interesting. Not bad. I ain't a big fan of Dib/Zim, but I tolerate it. :D You get a kudos, though, for portraying them in a way that didn't make me throw up. :D

Characters
--Characterization was also good. You hit the nail on the head and didn't make me throw up. You're battin' a thousand today! :D

Final Comments
--Only thing I can say is that you're a good writer. Keep working on your punctuation and cutting the fat out of your sentences.

--Nova.