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| darkknight uk 2008-06-23 ch 1,  | abuseThis story has tremendous potential and I'll try to keep an eye out for it. If I may share some feedback with you? * Good sense of imagery. The use of language to illustrate what's happening is mostly effective here. * Nice sense of foreboding and mystery * The beginnings of a nice depiction of the Batman / Superman friendship You may want to consider the following to improve; * Think about the balance between showing and telling. * Too much happens too quickly, try to pace these things out to give the reader a sense of location and context before thinking about falling meteorites and citizens in peril. * The thesaurus. It's the writers best friend. Use it! All in all, a potentially excellent story here. Keep fighting the good fight. |
| Artisan Monkey 2008-04-27 ch 1, | abuseI can't wait for the game! This is a great tribute thus far! |