 Gaby Black 2008-09-01 . chapter 1I really liked this, especially the last stanza. Those were my favourite lines: 'Know I am a little less myself. Silence at my lips;
In clumsiness I’ve lost the words.'
Very nice poem.
- Gaby
PS: I'll miss you :( though you'll still be around, I'll miss your stories. |
 AllIWannaDo 2008-07-20 . chapter 1Eh, I don't know if you need the help, but I'll review anyway =).
This is a very touching, well-written poem. The word choice is excellent, with each word carefully chosen to express a specific emotion; in other words, you've got some good "feeling" words, as well as some powerful sensory images. Perhaps you want an example? Okay: "Dementor drains at my reality." I think that may very well be my favorite line in this entire poem. I don't know, there's just something so haunting about it...
My only constructive criticism would be that I'm not sure that George would refer to Fred as "my dear," but then again, if I imagine him saying it in a joking way, kidding around with him as he often did, it works. So, in the end, I really don't have any criticism at all. I'm sorry. I really like this poem, and I think you did a fine job with it. Keep up the first-class work! Lots of love! |
 estrelita 2008-06-26 . chapter 1WoW lexie that was amazing. I love it. You had so much imagery and the subject matter was very clear (at least to me it was).
Lita |
 Billie 2008-05-31 . chapter 1 Very pretty, I especially like the idea that the world seems like a stranger. Very sad too though, poor George! |
 Fleur JulizzeD 2008-05-10 . chapter 1I thinks its really nice. It must have been terrible for George to lose Fred. |
 duj 2008-05-04 . chapter 1Excellent work, although I'm not quite sure about him calling his brother "my dear". |
 whitehound 2008-05-03 . chapter 1Wonderful. I don't think there's really anything *to* criticize. |
 Lola-LessThanThree 2008-05-01 . chapter 1I really liked that. Your poetry is just as good as your stories are. |
 Espoir Noir 2008-04-28 . chapter 1The first fan fiction poem I've read, so no idea how it compares with anything else, but I really liked it. It conveyed a lot of emotion very elegantly, and simply at the same time. A real tangible sadness about it. |
 Princess Gillybean 2008-04-26 . chapter 1That was really beautiful. You captured the emotion really well.
-Gilly |
 mustardgirl1128 2008-04-25 . chapter 1Oh, beautiful! SO sad! I love the emotions you can portray through poetry--I CANNOT do that! xD The end is so beautiful, so heartbreaking, and how "The world tastes/ like a stranger"; what a beautiful line! How everything has changed now...Amazing job! I LOVED it! |
 mackgirl 2008-04-25 . chapter 1That was very well done. I think you've captured George's lost very well here. |
 MBP 2008-04-25 . chapter 1Oh goodness... so very sad. :( You've captured George's new reality so well in here. I'm not sure if he'd call Fred "my dear," but people do tend to become more formal in poetry, so I'd say it's allowable. ;) I loved it. |
 Bad Mum 2008-04-25 . chapter 1Lexie, this is just brilliant. I'm trying to pick out the lines I like best, but that would be the whole thing... I just love the sense of George's incompleteness in this. Beautiful. |
 Violin Ghost 2008-04-25 . chapter 1That was poignant and so, so sad. Not too flowery, which was a refreshing change from most poetry on this site. :) |