 ReviewsGalore 2009-11-13 . chapter 12Story: 6/10. The story flows in an understandable manner and I like the concept of redeeming Boromir in this way and giving him a love interest. I do think that the pacing feels a little quick. It seemed like Boromir and Sedryn developed feelings for one another very quickly, for example. I would have liked to have seen the relationship developed more. I also thought that the story lacked conflict. There is this sort of vague struggle against an evil outside force going on, but there is barely a whiff of either interpersonal or internal conflict on the part of the characters in 12 chapters. The story seems to mostly consist of the characters talking pleasantly with one another.
Characters: 6.25/10. I do appreciate that you managed to give Boromir a love interest without making her the least Sue-like. She seems to fit in fairly well with the canon world. I think that the biggest problem which I hinted at earlier is that everyone is nice and polite all the time. Not that they aren't nice, polite people of course, but it isn't fun to read about people being that way all the time, especially when you are working with characters who aren't always that way in the books.
Creativity: 7.5/10. I think that the concept behind the story is interesting and I don't see things that are too cliche, but there is nothing that pops out at me as incredibly original either.
Writing: 7.5/10. I think that your writing is fairly smooth and has few mistakes, but it doesn't have a lot of flare either. I wouldn't mind seeing more description -- I think that the fic is a bit dialogue heavy.
Believability: 7/10. Again, I think that your OC fits into the world well and I think that most of what your write fits into the LOTR universe fairly well. I do think that a little more setting description would really put is into that universe more, though. I also thought that the whole thing about Denethor having the dream felt off. It felt like it was too obviously a plot device -- like it was a little too convenient or something.
Overall: 6.75/10. I think that you write fairly well and have some interesting ideas, but you need some more conflict to capture our interest. |
 Alasse Greyhame 2009-11-12 . chapter 12Yes I'm still interested! I totally understand about college. Real life has done that for me lately in interfering in my story. Plus trying to figure out my own AU where Boromir doesnt' die and still do some justice to the story has been wracking my brain lately. But anyway, I loved this chapter job very well done! |
 Czechmade 2009-11-09 . chapter 12Of course! You can“t leave it!
Good luck with your studies:-) |
 Alasse Greyhame 2009-07-14 . chapter 11Oh very good! I can't wait to see what happens next. They shouldn't be so trusting of Grima, though. But anyway, job well done! |
 Faerthurin 2009-07-13 . chapter 2I'm just re-reading this chapter after reading your new chapter. It makes a lot of sense now, and I can figure out the remaining people in it. I'll say it must have been hard to write! It's very good; I just didn't realize that before. The meaning of the dream is cleverly hidden, just as it should be. |
 Alasse Greyhame 2009-04-09 . chapter 9Great work! I liked the Rohirrim healer and everything about this story so far. Can't wait for the next chapter. Thanks for sharing. |
 Alasse Greyhame 2009-02-18 . chapter 8Well done! I liked the Rohirrim getting into the story. I also liked how you showed that Eomer and Boromir have fought together before. Your healer was well done too. Great job! Looking forward to the next chapter, keep up the awesome work. |
 Faerthurin 2009-02-18 . chapter 8The nick-name of "Theo" sounds completely modern, but everything else is great! Nice way of bringing familiar characters in, and good saving of Sedryn. I didn't think she'd wake up enough to heal herself.
I guess the couple won't have more than a night to rest, but I hope the meeting with the Rohirrim refreshes them. It would be nice, and I think like Eomer, for the Riders to accompany them for a day or so.
Waiting for the next chapter,
Faerthurin / Theophilus
P.S. Yes, I do sometimes go by "Theo". :) |
 Alasse Greyhame 2009-02-02 . chapter 7I loved this chapter. I like your characters and the way the work together. Excellent work. I wouldn't change anything. Thanks for sharing. |
 Alasse Greyhame 2009-01-08 . chapter 6I liked this one. You're right it was short and sweet but that's never a bad thing I tend to run way too long but maybe that's just my imagination. I really like your story and can't wait for the next chapter. Thanks for sharing. |
 Czechmade 2009-01-04 . chapter 5I look forward to the next development! Please, go on,go on! |
 Faerthurin 2008-12-19 . chapter 5Terrific way you imply Denethor is using the Palantir, and how he's already not quite himself. I'm glad he's not as disparaging of Faramir than in the movie.
Sedryn being sent to Imladris is a difficult development. Will she arrive, in which case either the whole Fellowship will be upset, or she will have to return alone; or will she be lost, somehow, along the way? (By "lost" I merely mean not continuing the journey. She may have only turned back.) She MAY NOT die, OK? If nothing else, Gondor needs its Healing.
Great work!
Faerthurin / Theophilus |
 Alasse Greyhame 2008-12-15 . chapter 5WooHoo!! Loved this absolutely loved it! I especially liked the way you mixed book and movie? and your own work it all fits very well together and I can't wait for the next chapter. Keep up the awesome work! Thanks for sharing. |
 Alasse Greyhame 2008-10-22 . chapter 4I loved this. The wedding was beautiful as well as the descriptions of the different flowers and people. I can't wait for the next chapter. Thanks for sharing. Excellent work. |
 Alasse Greyhame 2008-09-30 . chapter 3Oh I loved this chapter! You have certainly caught and will keep my interest. Very well done!! Thank you for sharing. |