It only took two and a half days to read through them all, but I can definitely say it was worth. You single-handedly managed to foster a love for a character that I have long since forgotten. I mean, who doesn't love a perverted, sarcastic, and devilishly handsome spacer? And that voice of his...same guy as Kaiden Alenko from Mass Effect. Yeah, that's one sexy ass voice.

I never once looked at Bao Dur in the way that you have in the story, but after reading, I am wondering why I hadn't. I mean, I always thought he was cool...but fuckable? No, never thought about him that way. Maybe with some Darth Maul face paint I might jump his bones though... Mical on the other hand...dear god, what a hot blonde...

Ok, enough of my fangirl rambling. Your story was wonderful dear. I love how you follow the game's storyline without it sounding like you searched for an online walkthrough and simply copy/pasted to make a story. There are so many who follow storylines so closely that you wonder if they ever actually took any artistic liberties. You on the other hand, obviously follow the storyline; but how you hint at what we should already know and go into detail about what we don't is what makes you different than the rest. Keep taking those imaginative liberties dear, they make for a wonderful story.

Write and I'll review,

blackghost7

The look on Alevia’s face was somewhat deflated as she tapped the datapad lightly. “So when you left the charity early, you weren’t off making out in the back of a speeder somewhere?”

“Force, no!” he said in shock. “Does it say that?”


LOL! This is part of why I love your work. You are a MASTER at dialogue. All of your scenes just WORK. They flow, they enhance the story, they enhance the characters...just awesome.

Your Mical is different than any I have read (thank God) and I love his maturity and self-awareness. He's not a blubbering idiot (and he wasn't in the game either) just earnest. But earnest doesn't mean weak. Lovelovelove him.

And lovelovelove this fic. :)

Yay! finally getting around to having time to read (and I LOVE this so far!). Can't wait to finish the rest (if I ever get the blasted time!).

BTW, this is babydol from the Obsidian boards. :D

"She felt him stiffen against her embrace, but she ignored it and squeezed him tighter before letting him go and practically sprinting for the door before he could ruin the moment with words."

WOW! Amazing line! I love seeing a glimpse of a nice Vrook! I really like how you are setting up a possible romance between Mical and Alevia. Its amazingly good! I think you've really nailed Atton (no pun intended =P) in terms of his personality. His jealousy is totally believable. This is quickly becoming one of my favorite fafics EVER!

Having Mical be of regal lineage makes perfect sense when you write it. And I'm kind of giggling at the idea of him in gossip columns, but it fits.

I feel almost sorry for Atton here though; he's so weak for Alevia that it doesn't seem like he can tear himself away from her, no matter how bad his jealousy gets. Still, they do make for some rather hot tension...

And the ending bit with Vrook smiling as he thought of Alevia's mother! I was alternating between laughing and aww-ing, because I could totally imagine that curmudgeon as you wrote him -- stiffening up when she hugs him, especially.

Oh, that was a clever addition to Mical's past! I swear, for every chapter that passes, you make him less dull and more interesting.

And Atton's jealousy really likes to rear its ugly head, doesn't it? Still, the dynamic between him and Alevia makes for an interesting read.

You're good at building a need to read the next chapter. ;)

Uhuh, related to Captain Antilles, is he? Seperated by a few thousad years of course. Update soon please!

I like what you did with Mical. I like that he didn't succumb to her wiles, but held his own. It makes more sense that way too, since if it was just one, big Alevia sex-fest, things might turn implausible, )not that there's anything wrong with sex-fests, mind you) or it would detract from the rest of the wonderful things you're doing with the plot.

“Your complaint has been registered,”

LOL. I LOVE your interactions with Atton and Alevia. The dialogue is so sharp and funny and realistic. It's just damn entertaining.

I really like how you describe the enclave and Dantooine. I also like the whole love triangle(or should I say rectangle lol) that I see happening in the future! Keep writing! I love it!

There are some seriously excellent quotables here, mainly regarding Atton but this was my favorite: Alevia let go of Atton and turned toward the Disciple again whose bewildered stare made her grin as a blush crept across her face. “Sorry about that. He’s just so damn cute when he gets angry.”

lol Yes. Yes, he is.

The conversation with Mical was exceptionally good and flowed very well. There was one or two places that were a tad rough (three 'apparently's in two sentences) but it's a VERY minor quibble when one considers the VAST amount of exposition you are revealing but doing so in a manner that is SO natural, energetic, and pertinent to the plot. Yes, it's almost like one long conversation (the action was well done, btw) but it's so damn good and interesting and suspenseful, I don't care if no one touches a lightsaber again. It's frickin' amazing.

And the little flashback to Alevia's last visit with Atton in the cockpit was just beautiful.

You rock, girl.

I favorited this story, right? I sure as hell better have because it is definitely one of the best.

Re: Revan...

"...his treatment of her had shifted from one of commander to…no, not friend, prospective buyer was closer."

Sheer genius! And the "she chased her thoughts..." well, I'm going to have to steal that, sorry to say. :)

I don't have time to read 11 right now but I can't wait since it seems you're throwing Mical into the mix. I can't imagine how in the hell she's going to balance all three guys but I can't wait to see how it pans out between her and Mical. You've done such awesomely different things with Atton and Bao-Dur, I'm sure Mical's interactions are going to be just as inventive and unique.

Lovelovelove it.

“I… I suppose that during your time in exile quite a lot of the Jedi traditions were lost to you, no doubt.” No, really? Your Disciple is so adorable, though. There's that sense of lingering sadness about him, some very conflicted issues with the Jedi. And an obvious desire for Alevia, and I'm just wondering how many more men she will be able to juggle on her own before that cardhouse comes crashing down...

Anyway, the point I'm trying to make: you've got a really well-written Disciple here. He doesn't come off as a plastic figurine to me, his issues aren't pasted on and oh, yeah, you just made me like him a bit more.

Your writing is wonderfully smooth, as always, and makes for a truly captivating read. The words just seem to have this flow to them, making it all easy on the mind to take in, and none of it comes off as contrived. The voices are well-captured, to the point where I can almost hear hear Mical and Atton's voices.

Oh Kreia, what a devious woman. I think you've got her nailed down very well: her cryptic, frustration-inducing statements, her obsession with Revan, and the way she speaks...

And I think I squeed a bit when Mical appeared there. I'm not much a fangirl for him, but I'm just so curious to see how he will deal with Alevia, poor Republic boy.

And also, this exchange:

“How did I ever survive without you, Bao?”

His smile reflected hers. “Lots of booze and men, I believe, General.”

She grinned as she leaned closer to him. “The booze let me pretend the men were almost as good as you.”

“You always did have an overactive imagination, General.”

Still has me. So very Bao, and so very cheeky.

You keep on doing the great job you're doing, because it is GOOD.

So Mical finally joins the party. Let the chaos begin! Update soon please! (And Defying Gravity, I really like that fic too.)

Once again, another great conversation. Your dialogue is like buttah and not one word threw me out of the story. Plus, you managed to keep things in limbo with Atton and Alevia without resorting to another fight. It was perfectly awkward how things turned sweet to sour with her admission that she wouldn't space Bao-Dur. It's just great writing, is all.

I had to laugh because as soon as I saw Mira in the picture, I thought, trouble for her if Alevia swings both ways...which I'm sure she does. lol

Anyway, great stuff, sweets. Really great.