Warning this paragraph is rated about where I think your last scene of chapter 7 is going. -- Until the final scene I was actually enjoying the story. Then you had to have Soun drug his daughter and now possibly participate in her rape. Loving father. As you said Bit Bull. Incest, Rape, God knows what else. (If this is not stopped, you really need to raise the rating into M or R. The writing of the sex scene is not all that is requires a higher rating. Also if you do no shatter Nabiki's mind, I think you will shortly have 2 less characters in your story and possibly someone on trial for murder. If you do shatter her mind and let her be raped are you going to have the fathers do it on a daily basis to what remains of the character.) Maybe because of incidents that happened to 2 of my god children and some of their cousins, I find this more than upsetting, but I do. At this point, I would say any person in the story was well within their rights of shattering the joints (especially the ball sockets of the humerus and femur bones) of the fathers, removing their **, puréeing them, and forcing the fathers to eat them.


What surprised me the most until then even with the atrocious grammar and spelling, I was enjoying the story as it was so novel.

I felt sorry for Tofu Ono in losing Kasumi but acknowledged that is how it could have happened. I felt sorry for him for becoming married to Shampoo. It was overall a horrible day for him and he was completely innocent.

His attitude that he suddenly displayed for Kasumi of being over protective might even have been in character for the canon story, though I think he would have been a little more supportive of her going away to college and the word is college not collage.

You really need to get a proof reader that is a native English (in some form whether it is American, British, South African, Australian, or Indian) speaker.

Oh come on! You stop right there of all places? *sigh*, damn, that is one nasty cliffhanger...

This has a really good side and a really bad side. This fic is incredibly mushy, but the way you set things up is awesome. All in all, the good outways the bad

Oh my goodness...the story is alive! Thought it died and buried in fanfic heaven.

Yay! A new chapter to read. Darn you...a horrible cliffy you left! The high and low of a story. LOL!

I feel sorry for Tofu with the partial destruction of his clinic and his situation with Shampoo. LOL, that's so funny, yet sad. I like the pairing of Kasumi and Tofu, but not too bothered if they hook up with somebody else, so long as the relationship was explained in a reasonable manner. Speaking of Shampoo...a blind one...first story I've read about that happening to her. Too bad it's permanent...unless the cure is something the Amazons are unfamiliar with...though would be strange since they dabble in unusual objects/powders/etc. Hopefully the story will continue along so I can find out if Mousse will make an appearance or not.

Completely understand the situation regarding Akane's desperation. It's a big turnaround in regards to the canon story, but a good change nevertheless. Hopefully you will fix the situation so that she's not so desperate anymore.

Look forward to the next chapter.

OMG.. rape rape *kilsl teh person attacking nabiki*

A rather well done story, but as with every story has some room for improvement.

It is a nice blend of action, comedy, and romance. With just enough mature darkness thrown in to make it interesting over yet another read through of the manga.

You really need a pre-reader who will catch the multitude of spelling mistakes. There are a lot of them, some are painfully obvious.

As for the reviewer's comments.Don't let them guide your story. It is impossible to please everyone. That is a simple fact.

For instance, I am in complete disagreement with the reviewer who stated "Canon!Ranma and Canon!Akane just can't work. Both are too immature and Akane and Ranma don't trust each other enough for a relationship to work. Adn with Akane's temper and Ranma's lack of social skills it's a disaster waiting to happen." To me "Canon!Ranma" and "Canon!Akane" are more than capable of working. Sure they are immature in regards to their relationship at times, but so is every person at one point in their lives. Nobody is born mature. Maturity develops over time, and there is no reason to assume that given that time Ranma and Akane could not develop the maturity to have a healthy relationship. So, I hope that I have illustrated my point that people can have contradictory perceptions, even from reading the same story, thus I feel that it is a perfect example of why you have to be very careful about letting reviewer's comments guide your story. If you were writing continuation story with Ranma and Akane it is highly unlikely that you could please both myself and this previous person. That is life, so just write the story that you want to write and would want to read.

As for the apparent comments regarding the out of characterness of the characters. Some I find out of character, others I don't.

I think that you have done an excellent job with the Tendo girls. They all started out in very close approximations of their canon characterizations, from there the different story elements have to lead to differences in the characters. (Also keep in mind that there are two canons for Ranma -anime and manga- and fans who read fanfiction often have their perceptions of what is really shown in canon tainted over time by the very fanfiction that they enjoy.)

Kuno is fairly easy to get right considering how one-dimensional he was in the canon.

Cologne is done quit well, of course she is also a relatively easy one to write since she is essentially a plot device in the canon, and as such her motivations are vague at best.

Shampoo seems about right so far, but she really hasn't been in the story very long.

Tofu was a surprise but not necessarily OOC, as again he was a rather one-dimensional plot device that is easily taken in many different directions.

Ukyo and Ryoga haven't been in the story much, but don't seem too far off so far. (I know that some might disagree with me on Ukyo since she is a common target for fanfiction perception drift, in my opinion. Coming primarily from the manga canon I find that way too many fanfictions make her out to be a lot more stable than she is shown to be in the manga canon. I think that some of this comes from the anime canon as what I have viewed of it does make her to be a bit more stable than the manga depicts. Of course, I feel that some of it comes from the fact that in many ways she is simply the Anti-Akane thrown into the story as an element to introduce tension into Ranma and Akane's relationship. Then given the animosity that many feel towards Akane it isn't any wonder that they gravitate towards Ukyo.)

Soun and Genma are basically the same character in this story, just filling two roles. Genma is not readily stated to be OOC given that he has underwent different experiences for the last decade, his views are a bit extreme. Soun is again another character whose motivations are very hard to discern from the canon, and as such can be seen as possibly acting this way, although I don't personally agree that he would.

The real kickers that I have a little trouble with, although not enough to ruin my joy for the story are Kenchi/Ranma and ?/Ranma.

There seems to be a sharp disconnect between what you "say" in the story through exposition and character dialogue and Kenchi/Ranma's actions. Several times you make the statement that Kenchi runs off at the mouth, yet the only time he has really been illustrated to do so is to Cologne. In fact, Kenchi/Ranma is about the weakest element of this story, in my opinion. He is a borderline Mary Sue. He doesn't have any demonstrable faults or flaws. He only loses his temper when appropriate. He is a nearly flawless and unbeatable martial artist. He is articulate and thoughtful. One of the endearing qualtities that draws so many people to Rumiko Takahashi's work is that all of her characters have flaws. Heck, every major character in Ranma is certifiable, and that is why we love them. As written so far Kenchi/Ranma is just too perfect. If you have plans to introduce flaws which will allow for future growth then ignore these comments. Of course, it is also possible that Kenchi/Ranma was never meant to be more than a plot device, serving in this story as the one dimensional wise master. This is a possibility given that much of the story has been dealing with the Tendo girl's growth up to this point. So take this for what it is worth given that I don't know your plans.

As for ?/Ranma, I think that I know who he is, and while he cannot possibly be stated as being OOC given the differences in his life over the last decade, I find it a little hard to believe that Genma could completely destroy all sense of decency and honor in the person. My primary concern with ?/Ranma is that like Kenchi/Ranma he is a bit too perfect, in an evil way. He seems to have absolutely no morals or reservations at all. He seems to have no sympathy, and really borders on sociopathy. Of course, given that ?/Ranma has, like Kenchi/Ranma, been little more than a plot device to add tension and conflict this might not be a bad thing.

All in all, I have enjoyed this story. I wouldn't mind seeing a bit more depth added to Kenchi/Ranma and ?/Ranma, as even the protagonist of the canon had flaws and the most horrible of antagonist in the canon at least had some redeeming traits.

Can't wait until the next chapter.

Ramon this author asks a lot for very little. Heckle him.

Ramon: "I boo you sir, BOO!"

great story hope you have some one to help nabiki.
like how your not rushing the story and letting it play out.
wounder what will hapen when kenchi find out he's the real ranma and when nadoko come in contact with his aunt.

hope you update soon.

WOW! This is an excellent story. Usually I don't like Ranma/Akane stories, but this is an exception. Canon!Ranma and Canon!Akane just can't work. Both are too immature and Akane and Ranma don't trust each other enough for a relationship to work. Adn with Akane's temper and Ranma's lack of social skills it's a disaster waiting to happen.

That's why I laugh when the people here are ** about OOCness. It's the only thing that makes the couple viable. Additionally it's impossible to keep Ranma and Akane in character. As soon as an author deviates from canon OOCness is unavoidable.

So, I command you on a job well done. You should just check more for spelling mistakes; e.g. you always write 'of coarse' instead of 'of course'.

As for the names, it's Happosai, Furinkan (with a 'k', not a 'c'", and Mikado Sanzenin.

I'm in shock, you updated!

First Harts of Ice, now Whats in a Name... its like a who's who of the best Ranma fic's that would never be finnished suddenly coming back to life!

I liked the chapter, Akane might seem OOC but with her relationship the way it is I can see why its happening.

Soun is scaring me, if Akane gets home in time to see this she just might kill her own father.

Tofu... poor Tofu, I do hope that Shampoo and he get along, I do prefer him and Kasumi but I realy don't see that happening.

GREAT CHAPTER! (*x4) Oh boy, they make the biggest mistake ever.

Um, where are the quotations in this chapter, anyway?

Quite frankly the plot of this fic is very poor. You have taken the cliché path of demonizing some of the characters and use rape and the threat thereof in an attempt to build drama. Furthermore you have done so poorly. You have given your Ranma a massive advantage and support net in the form of a new clan and the amazons and yet you let him use those resources poorly if at all.

Since you introduced your fake Ranma and stuck to the base plot from canon this comes of as a very poorly designed and unimaginative rewrite. Every non-canon element you use has been used already in other fics. Many of them superior in quality.

My suggestion:
1. Rewrite plot more creatively and either massively alter or remove the fake Ranma. Try to be less blatant in screwing up the characters.

2. Abandon this fic as practice and write something better instead.

This chapter is far from done. You have numerous misspellings throughout and forgot to put quotations around someone's speech. Clean this up and repost ASAP.