im really enjoying the story. Can you please update soon?

aww man I just started reading this story and really enjoyed it. I was hoping to see it compleated. please continue this story until the end it has been an entertaning read so far and would continue to be if finished.

Glad to see that you're back. Sick of Claymore or not, I would still like to see the conclusion of this epic NYC battle.

There's a lot of action in this chapter - way too much action - to the point that it seems like one long flow of verbs and dialogue from the beginning. So it's a good thing that you can shift perspective a bit to Riful, Helen & Deneve. The banter between them also helps to establish a more relaxed atmosphere amidst what has been 4 straight chapters of non-stop battle.

Getting Clare to awaken alongside Miria is - overkill? Although it's quite unique they communicate on a kind of subtle, telegraphic level I never would've imagined. That Miria can maintain her form for so long is a bit technically suspicious - but for the purposes of the story I guess is ok.

Sometimes your metaphors get in the way. Like the cat-like yoma which Helen & Deneve killed - it might be better off to describe the form & shape of the yoma first, since they are not those that we are aquainted to. Because at this level of speed for the story, you night want to voluntary slow things down by indulging in more literal description.

I liked the first chapter. It's interesting.
I'll be sure to read the rest

Wait, they're on the statue of Liberty? But that is on an island completely seperate from Manhattan. There are no roads that connect to it and there are no cars on the island. It would make more sense if they are somplace that is actually on the island of Manhattan. Maybe on the Brooklyen bridge, that way you can keep the car scene as is.

You know, Isley never struck me as the kind of person who disliked needless destruction. I mean sure he was more then willing to wipe out all of the northern towns, their people, and the 24 Claymores sent to the North in order to acheive his goals, but he seemed to regret it, or at least feel sad at their deaths. So why would he want to destroy New York?

And another thing I have wondered is how strong your three special Yoma are. I mean a normal Yoma isn't even a match for a normal Claymore yet these things are strong enough to fight evenly with an Awakened Being?

My apologies for the late review. I read your chapter some time back & forgot to comment until recently.

First off, good technique to have the song running through all the action. It's the first & most visible difference this chapter has with the rest. However, I think it might've been clearer that the song was functioning as background to the carnage if there was constant reference to the stanzas. For example, if Raki unconsciously started humming to it, or if the rock music started to affect Galatea or Miria's ears etc etc.

Second, I'm starting to notice your story follows a distinct format, which segments the action into sections with Miria & Raki, Clare overseas & Isley. While I think it's working all right so far, just be careful not to switch too much. It contributes to the suspense & is a welcome break in action after the long scene, but too many switches in perspective can cause a bit of friction within the story. Also, I thought Isley's complaint should come before we see Clare & gang on the plane. A trivial observation, but it seemed to work better in this chronology.

Btw, what's the song? The lyrics are vaguely familiar but I can't put a name and/ or artiste to it.

So thats how you planned the battle. To think that one of those three unique Yoma would have such an ability. With it he really could take on an army of Claymores, even if they include several singel digits. For awhile anyway. Add in some Awakened Being support and I shudder to think of the carnage.

Ambush! A very surprising turn of events. I wonder how in the next chapter the ambush party will explain to the warriors how they were able to hide their yoki so well.

Several things going on in this chapter: Miria & Raki, Chester & Beth (I'm assuming) & the suspense on what seems to be an upcoming attack. The Miria & Raki bit is priceless - that you've put them in the spotlight & made all the other characters' dialogue circulate around them. The bit about Chester is a bit unclear - so at the end of everything, with the warriors at the party & the spiked fruit punch & all - does he get Beth?

(If he does, I will congratulate you for being the first person to pair Beth with a OC. I don't think I've read a single story of her paired up, descriptively, to anyone else).

Perhaps as an improvement you could've sharpened the sense of suspense. I was under the impression the party would end as it is: without incident. A surprise is always good, yes, but maybe some foreshadowing, like maybe even Raki being suspicious of his own teachers, or Galatea observing the teachers closely, would've built into an impressive cliffhanger.

Hehe, nice! I wonder, is Raki's sword real or at least cold steel? Even a blunted blade will cut when swung hard enough... or at least break some bones.

How could Beth have missed this? Even with all the Yoma suppressing their power the concentrated number should have been felt.

Well if these are normal youma then even backed by the super youma the Claymores have a good chance, but if they're all as strong as awakend ones, then there dead. Unless some surprise or trump for the Claymores shows up.

Can't you just feel the tension of the next chapter already.

I'm not sure when you intend to finish the fic (if the notes at the end of Chapter 8 are any indication). Because, in these 2 chapters, there's a kind of onslaught of 2 new characters & a lot of unfamiliar territory.

In relation to the story, you handle it relatively well. The fact Isley is behind the abductions only requires a clarified motive; in your story he is the real, ruthless villain. Whatever other people say about it, I like this kind of black-and-white line of morality, although you need to make Isley's motive clearer. His taste for destruction is a bit cliched.

However, I'm not sure how to take Riful's reappearance. She seems to serve no purpose but inform the 3 of Isley's disturbance of the peace. As usual - as it is with all stories which handle Riful - her motives are always ambiguous. Not trying to rush your story here, but Riful needs to choose sides. After all, isn't she also adrift in an unfamiliar modern world?

Some nice things here which I must mention. Galatea, even though she is only Number 3, seems to be the resident elder sister in your story. The interaction between her & Beth is really effective: it's the main thing that keeps coming back to your story. The incident in the store between them hit the mark.

Then there's Miria & Raki. I think Miria is portrayed uncharacteristically herself in your fic. Miria, blushing? That's something pretty much unique to your story. Glad that it's finally out in the open. Now you might need to get Raki to make a move. And I wonder how Clare will take it.

Hm...With all these plans going about its a little hard to keep it all straight, but its still entertaining.

I've been meaning to review but I keep forgetting...

When you ended at Chapter 4, I think the story was a bit here & there. 3 chapters later I find I'm still a bit unsure where your story is heading, although you seem to have decided to pursue the yoma abductions & as of the latest chapter you've introduced some new, possible anatagonists. Looking forward to some serious action in the next few updates.

You've got a knack for bringing lesser known Claymores to the forefront. The short scene where Undine questions Galatea is something I'd find hard to envision properly, but you pulled it off nicely. Also, the portions in Chapters 5-6 where you detailed Beth's tracking, sensing & battling the unusual yoma is priceless, solely because you've given character to one which does not have a known nature. Your characterizations of Helen & Deneve & their conversations, as Benevolent Destruction says, are also good.

I think the subplot involving Raki & Miria has become more & more interesting with the kitchen scene, but I find that Miria is a bit OOC there.It's funny in that we don't get to see her swoon over Raki (also well-written in the tension) but I'd expect Miria to be the leading player, & Raki in all his cluelessness just playing along.

Last note, be mindful of your grammar & words. In Chapter 7, you used the term "curiouser". Perferbly, try "more curious" instead.

Good chapter, but I must point out another mistake you have about Yoma. While it is true that they are not the smartest creatures, Yoma are quite capable of speaking English as it is a needed skill to hide amongst their prey. Don't forget that normal Yoma have the ability to disguise themselves as humans, even using the memories of a human they have eaten to help blend in. That is why it is important for Claymores to sense Yoma. Now while Yoma can look like any human (but they usually have a preferred form for any given time period) Awakened Ones can only make themselves look like what they did before they became Claymores.