Om mi gosh, this is amazing! The writing is descriptive, and grammar and everything are good.
The story line (That I've gotten so far) is good.
The "Francis Sullivan died, and Jack Kelly was born" line is awesome :)
Kloppman stories are awesome :) I think I've fallen in love... with a story :P Keep writing!
Sierra

:)
This is also very good!!

I love that it's about Kloppman but also about the live of various newsies. I loved the Denton story. That, I did not see coming.

I hope you plan on continuing this! It's a wonderful story.

I like that Kloppman had such an impact on their lives. It's so sweet.

"He had always been on the streets."

^^ That was a very poignant opening to this next chapter. With those simple words, you set up the character's motivation without giving away who this chapter is about yet. It could be anyone -- anyone or everyone. I like it.

Oh, I feel so bad for him. I'm sure certain mothers were like that but wow. That was heartless.

Mrs. Kloppman? I don't think I've ever really thought about her and it was nice to see her mentioned.

Cap! I should have figured that out earlier -- I had my suspicions when poor baby Rae was found -- but the mention of Chicago clinched it. Yay Cap!

I had to give a little squeal of delight when I saw that this chapter was devoted to Jack. That definitely made my morning -- I'm so glad that I finally had the chance to read it today :)

I love the way you describe the Refuge in his POV. It makes a lot of sense that Jack would see it as anything but a House of Refuge. I'd never really thought about it like that before and that really struck me.

Aww, that was great. Jack meeting Rae and her sharing her name with him was classic; the story of how he got thrown back into the Refuge (and his infamous escape) was perfect.

I really liked the way you had Kloppman teaching him to read out of the old western novels. That was definitely in character, and it just endears me to Kloppman all the more ;)

Great job!

Yay for Hattie!

She's such an amazing character and, even after learning all about her in "Heart of Ice", it was really nice to see a vignette into her past -- especially when we see what role Kloppman had to play.

I loved the line about her father being a con man, and not even a good one at that. It made me chuckle.

i love this. expertly written. i can't get enough of it. great job. keep writing!

What a different story -- its so refreshing! It's simple and to-the-point, and very well written. Yeah, Kloppy!
Just for reference, the depression acually wasn't until the late '20s early '30s, just so you know. Otherwise, it's great and very true historically. Great job! I'm excited to see who Kloppy helps next!

~Shakespearean Fool

great story. it's definitely different from the other stories out there. i really hope you continue.


- Leprechaun

Yay, Rae, you added another chapter :) That makes me very excited.

Hmm, I wonder who this chapter is about. 10 years old, with a litte brohter who's a tagalong. I'm not quite sure yet, but I love the idea of life as a newsie being something that enticed this unknown narrator to go off on an adventure.

Aww... Kloppman left him a tablet? That's just so sweet and so very much like the character I perceive him to be.

You know, I should have known that this chapter was about Denton. I must say, this was pure brilliance. His past as a newsie makes so much sense when you think about the way he reacted to the boys in the movie.

Awesome job, as always!

Rae-zin,

I've been meaning to actually find sometime to leave you a nice review on this piece ;) And, woo hoo, here we go!

First off, I love the fact that you wrote a Kloppman story. He's such an underrated character and he deserves some face time in fiction. I'm so excited.

The description in the first few paragraphs is just great. You can see the memories whirring around her head while, at the same time, see the scene set just as she sees it in the present.

I love that line about Francis Sullivan dying and Jack Kelly being born -- it's so symbolic about his character.

It's so sad that Kloppman had to die at the end -- even though that's basically the point of this whole piece, eh?

Masterfully done, as always, hon! I can't wait to see some more from you :)

this is sweet. in both the awesome and the aww sense. it really made me happy, in a bittersweet kind of way. i loved growing up manhattan and this was a super neat continuation of the story.
well done sir.

aw! *tear sniff*
wow... that made me nearly cry!
I love how you incorporated a bunch
of your stories into it!

~*Petals*~

Oh, this was so lovely. I really enjoyed they story and the writing was amazing. I fet like was there with her. :)

Keep it up!

I knew I recognized your name; I've read your Remember the Titans story. I really like this story it draws you in. Can't wait to read more.