Nice work

The last bit made me laugh, when she found him 'still mostly naked' lying on the floor in a 'spread-eagled' manner. Enjoyable and fun.

Oh my Lord what an awesome little story! I absolutely adore this! The whole thing is so well written- I was captured in the moment right from the first sentence! Very atmospheric.

I like your fic and the ending XD

Ashe achieved him ! LOL!

Whew... that was heated! Very good though, I liked the descriptions and they both seemed very in character to me.

My favorite part was the ending when Basch fell asleep half-naked and spread-eagle on the floor. Poor thing... :D

Good job!

* landis icelilly *

Nice, I liked it. My only comment would be the ending; it seemed a little out of character. But other than that, I think it's great for your first fic! (I can't really write at all ;)

hahahaha.. there were many parts in the fic where I can hear Basch (or his "conscience" at least) going... "Oh Shit!" hahahaha. you know what, *it* would have helped. You know how they say that in first aid, you should divert the blood flow to avoid a hemorrhage... NEvermind, i don't even know what hte hell i'm talking about, but this I do know. NICE FIC. I love it

lol.

okay, so I caught the title to this story, and saw that it was your "first post." I instantly thought, "this can't be good." How wrong I was! I actually read this story last night, but for some reason the website wouldn't let me review. I liked this story so much that I had to come back today and review!

I just read the two other review's you received for this story, and honestly I couldn't disagree more with their criticism. LOL! But please don't ignore their suggestions: They are both AMAZING author's and know what they're talking about. But, personaly, where they did NOT like the ending, I absolutely LOVED it. :) Too many BaschxAshe stories go right for the typical cookie-cutter layout: Basch is ashamed, they hook up, and then he's ashamed again. You're ending came as such a refreshing treat for me! When Ashe found him sleeping, I laughed so hard! It fit into, um, situations I've come across in my life, and so I guess I could relate. It's very typical of a male to snooze after the dirty deed, and I lol'd very loud when Basch did! XD

The terrific ending aside, I found your style of writing very delicious. "it was momentarily impossible for him not to imagine her hand wrapped around something just about the same width and length and very close to where her hand was now." HHAHAHA dirty, dirty mind, Basch! I giggled at a lot of moments like that in this story, so I was never once bored! Great use of detail- I almost felt like I was there (that sounds more perverted than it is...)

I leave constructive criticism in 99% of the reviews I leave, so here's mine for this story: The dialog felt a little awkward. Unfortunatly, "old english" type dialog is hard for nearly EVERYONE, so I never expect anyone to get it perfectly. Other than that, I found this story fantastic. This is on my fav list for sure! :)

Finally I got time to review your story :D I liked it much, for it flowed nicely :) Bad naughty Basch for looking at the princess in such a way ;) good work in making him feeling guilty after each glance he stole at her body :D

Though I have to say it, and I hope you don't get discouraged by this! :( I'm trying to be constructive, like I expect the same from readers following my writing :) : I found the end a bit OoC for them both: Basch asking for soup (when I expected him to feel as guilty as in the beginning :P ) was unexpected XD though one can attribute that to the side-effects of the headache, yes? Maybe he's not thinking clearly? And I expected Ashe to be slightly taken aback by is quite odd request, even scold him or such and not so eager to fulfill his need for soup :)

And another think, I found some sentences too long, for example: "His senses began to sharpen and his gauntlet covered hand immediately went to the hilt of his sword at seeing the warm glow that spilled out the small window and the thin wisp of smoke that curled from the chimney into the starry evening sky." I found it a little confusing for being a sentence too long for me, but that's probably just me, who doesn't speak english as native language :)

PLEASE, don't be discouraged, ok? I assure you that this is great for your first fic :D (and who am I to talk, I find myself struggling with words and probably even this review of mine is full of mispellings XD). Overall, I enjoyed to read it a lot :) I congratulate you for your descriptions, the flowing of the stories and the rich choice of words that allowed me to capture the essence of it :) will you continue uploading more of your writing? I hope so :D

Okay...

This is awesome! You write very well, descriptions are very vivd and well, let's just say this was an intense and very sexual piece of work! I loved it. The tension between the two of them was amazing and their characters were very IC.

This is a great piece.

Please let me just say this one thing though. The ending could have been different. THe sex they just had I thought was brilliant in the way you described it, however I thought the ending could have been different. Basch asking for soup? Then falling asleep? :) Any other man I can see this happening, but I think he would at least remain awake, even if he had been worn by fighting and sex! *LOL*

But this is great! I loved it! Looking forward to reading some more of your work.