I really liked this one. It was one of the better ones. some of them kinda suck.

Such a good story...

Great story, I liked the ending since you included all of the characters with a little bit of background information for most of them. I really enjoyed how you voiced Shinobu's thoughts and feelings throughout the entire story. I hope you continue writing stories like this. This one was awesome!

I found this fic a very likeable Keitaro/Shinobu story. Sure there were spelling and grammar mistakes that could've been corrected, but my guess is that most of us could deduct ourselves through this.

loved it. :D

specially the ending.

I must say it was quite an experiance reading this story. The detail and raw emotion is something that I truely admire. Not to mention you got every character down word for word. Truely it was a romance story like none Ive ever read before. Keep up the good work.^^

i thought this was a very heart warming story i look forward to your other stories. there were some grammer mastakes but no one is perfect keep up the good work!

Good Story overall. The plot, however, is a bit too large for a one shot. The events take progression, and putting it all in one chapter makes it feel a bit choppy. It would have been better expressed in 3-5 chapters, with more detail and "filling" But that is a good thing. You have a good idea of plot and progression. All it needs is separation and spacing.

Your grammar is fine. It flows well, and I didn't catch any major disturbances when I was reading.

WF-XI

By the way, I thought that the Yui Horie thing was funny.

Hello Zero Eiyuu, this is Mr. Lee. I read your Keitaro/Shinobu oneshot. I'll admit, it was very cute and a nice story overall, especially from Shinobu' POV. Though honestly, I felt you could've added a little more emotion to it. It sounds starnge, but you could've added more to this and really bring out more than just Naru and Motoko apologizing to him when they leave. And the large spaces in the fic overall is a bit distracting, so keep them down to a minimum next time.

Other than that, you did a nice job. Keep up the good work in the Love Hina area. Later for now :).

It was aprety decent story

great, great story. Keitaro and Shinobu are my favorite pairing of all of the Love Hina characters. I hope to read more of your stories.