It was a good chapter, and there's Jaden. I love touching a pregnant woman's tummy, it's so cool! Anyways, there was one thing that I think could have been better, through the whole story it's mostly Lynelle and Train, it would have been better if you had expanded a little bit on the other relationships as well. Most of the other characters are side characters, but things would be more interesting with more main characters. More possibilities open up, and you can make things even longer, and no doubt you'd appeal to more people. Other than that, awesome chapter, and Gerald is all over the place ain't he? He's with Creed, and then the Numbers, and kind of with Lynelle. PICK A SIDE MAN! xD I still stand by Creed needs a good swift kick in the balls. D
Woo! Okay, reviewing now that I've gotten the chance to! Awesome chapter, and thanks for the note up at the top. It was fun writing the wedding scene and the fight scene. Anyways, Creed is a jerk, waiting until Lynelle gets married and then he decides to move in. He's a jerk and just needs to get shot in between the eyes. With a 50 calibur rifle. At point blank range. I saw some mistakes, but that's allowed, you can always go back and edit things later, that's what I usually plan to do, though if I've ever done it, I don't remember xD Poor Train and Lynn, being the designated drives for everyone else. Call a cab and then get wasted man, WASTED! xD Besides, Train and Lynelle need to go on their honey moon soon. We all know what happens then xD
Yay! I get to read the next chapter! _ Twice actually! Awesome chapter, I wasn't expecting Lynelle to be an angel wolf, for lack of a better description. Or for Gerald to be a vampire. Can't wait to see what happens with Gerald and his new found father, and family. I wonder who his mother is...(ponders) I guess that I'll just have to wait and find out huh? xD
Wow, I think that is your longest chapter yet! Yay, it's Jenos! _ I saw a few spelling mistakes and stuff like that, but other than that, it was good. The blood transfusion isn't exactly all that easy though, they have to do somethings to it, but i'm not sure what, they have to extract some things so that it can be used in other people. Creed honest to god can't take a hint can he? I don't think that Creed is even capable of love and he's only doing it to piss everyone off, which sounds a lot like Creed, don't it? The whole 'I wanted to see my girl again. I'll give you three gueses who it was, and the first two don't count.' that was funny. I laughed. Awesome chapter! _
YAY! They're back together! _ HOVER BOARDS! YES! Wiley has some deep insight! Knowing all that after only knowing him for what, a couple of days? I still stand by what I said before, Creed needs a good swift kick in the balls. Very, very, very hard kick in the balls. Not to mention Shiki. Shiki is way too short for Lynn. That's the end of the story for him. Can't wait until Creed kicks his ass. _ Awesome chapter!
Poor Train, he must but heart broken. I glad that Lynelle is starting to regain some of her memories though, and that deep inside of her mind she knows that it isn't the one whom she's supposed to be with. (sets up romantic date scene) There! Now Train can do what he'd been planning to do! _ GO TRAIN! Creed is so going to die when Train gets there. THAT'S WHAT YOU GET YOU PSYCHOPATHIC BASTARD! I'm good now. Awesome chapter. _
Creed, he just needs a life. Or to suffer through what he's putting Train and Lynelle through. The doctor is just a jerk, and needs to die in general. Oh well, it wouldn't be a story with out them. They're persistant as well...wo! Yabi returns, and with a friend that I think I know who it is. Might. So, I'm gonna take a guess...is it Wiley?
JENOS TO THE RESCUE! (pictures Jenos in a super hero outfit with a cape) XD Couldn't resist that. Anyways, awesome chapter. Fight scenes will always be hard, even when you're good at them. Trust me...I know...I love how Train and Lynelle look a like, and it's hard to tell them apart, that's gotta be one of the biggest assets to them. Of course Lynelle not having her gun, and her having a collar might be a dead give away. Oh well, they'll find a way out of it. _ Can't wait for the next one!
Gah! Another cliffie! Yeesh! I think you like them as much as I do! XD Anyways awesome chapter, and that was a wicked twist that you threw in there. Lynelle being in a Chronos cell, that was unexpected, I have to say, I was surprised. Can't wait to find out who 'the shadow' is...Dun Dun dun! XD
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