I love this! It's almost poetic, and I like how you use different styles for the different sections; I especially like how you incorporate the 'fairytale' aspect.

This was so beautiful, especially the first chapter. The way Temari died was a true punch to the gut. Wonderful work.

I really enjoyed thıs. It ıs cleverly wrıtten and succıntly summarızes a realıstıc love story. I dıdn´t lıke the second versıon because ıt got too much ınto specıfıcs and dıd not work nearly half as well.

As far as what works, I thınk nearly everythıng ın the fırst versıon works well and deserves to be ın the fınal cut. As for what does not work, the water headıngs are kınd of lame ın my opınıon. (Vırga, Fountaın, Dew, etc.) I understand what you were goıng for, but I don´t thınk they shed enough ınsıght to merıt ınclusıon.

I also dıdn´t lıke thıs one paragraph ın the last sectıon:

The only question is whether you think the story is worthwhile during its brief flight through your mind and heart. All things end, but death doesn't negate life. The end of a storm doesn't negate the rain seeping into the earth. An ending can shade what came before, but never overwrite it. Even if we forget or ignore the past, everything that happened is still true.

It feels too preachy to me and ıs separate from the tone of the rest of the story. Not only that, but ıt takes your poınt out of the land of the subtle and ınto the realm of the beatıng a dead horse. If you want to use a deeply meanıngful passage as an epıtaph, ıt ıs poıntless assume your readershıp cannot comprehend ıt wıthout your explıcıt assıstance. If you feel the passage ıs too complıcated for the fandom, whıch ıs entırely possıble but not the case here ın my opınıon, then don´t ınclude ıt at all. You can only repeat a novel concept so many tımes before ıt ıs no longer novel.


That beıng saıd, thıs lıttle vıgnette that uses one of my favourıte poetry of all tıme was a breath of fresh aır. Overall, I fınd ıt hıghly successful but would fınd ıt more so ıf ıt stood on ıts own ın one chapter. Thanks for sharıng!

Your writing is rather unique and it was an interesting remix. I love the metaphor of water. The second part was more conventional but it ties back the story nicely. Best of all, it inspires me to write too : )

I liked the first chapter a little more than the second. Her death scene was quite good.

I liked this a lot-- your style is very interesting. I've been looking through the ShikaTema fics here for a few hours now, but I think that this is the first one that I've really liked. I'm not sure about the placement of the second-to-last segment though... I'm not entirely sure where it would have been better, just that it seems sort of out-of-place there. :/ At any rate though, this is really good imo.

I love how you write them. even if you're giong to kill them off eventually. well, one of them.

I would also like to see how they get together,, you know?? That's usually the thing that ineterst me the most in stories about them.

You got skills :)

Virga - well, at first it seemed a bit off comparing to the rest of the drabbles, at least until I read the end - then it made perfect sense.

Oasis - fantastic. 'Sensual' comes to mind. I don't like when authors get too descriptive when it comes to sex - I just skip it then. But you sure know how to say and show without actually saying and showing. and that's a gift.

Flood - that's the tough one. It's very well written, and touching towards the end. But she dies and I'm a gluuton for happy endings for those two...

Fountain - total love. You described that tention between them even better than in Oasis and Shika is not even there! (seriously. How do you do this??)

River - Sweet. Tender. Intimate. Loved it.

Dew - The conclusion. And the truth that happiness is always happiness, even if it lasts for a while.

To end this HUGE review I want to tell you that I loved the water referations. Ok, enough with my rambling.

I liked all of it. ^_^
I really like you style, sense of paceing, and wording. This goes for both this and the finished product. I look forward to seeing more of your work. I just hope I have the time to read like I did today. ^_^;

Makokam out.

Well, firstly well done. This type of work is what I want to do, I try and learn from reading stories like this so I can write in the way I want to.

I thought it was beautiful, it just held grace in a way I can't really describe. I thought the Flood section was great, it felt really raw with emotion, a feeling that I love in stories. I mostly loved all the sections. The others I liked.

The ones I was least fond of was the begining and the ending, but I still liked them, didn't dislike them. I think I just felt they were a little... cutesy if I can use that word.

I loved the whole idea of rain and water that was used, it was really beautiful. And the mature content was done so very well, really elegant, really emotional and just really "raw". I loved this story, definitely a favourite. I'm putting you on watch.

Well, I must say, this is one of the finest Naruto fanfictions I've ever read, and it's very high up in my list of favorite fanfictions as well. I must say that this is a moving piece of drama and very believable.

You ask your reviewers *why* but I'm not sure if I have the ability to fully express what made this story so grand. But, I'll try anyway.

First of all, it really seems that you've scaled a full-sized novel down to to the size of a long drabble perfectly. The scenes are ordered perfect and the transitions never seem contrived, something even the best of drabbles often have trouble with. This is believable within the frame of the show since the characterizations are done so well, in my opinion. You got Temari's devil-may-care attitude down to a tee, as well as Shikamaru's semi-apathy.

Perhaps what was most moving about this fic is how it weaves together to give a lesson of life and death and love and life. In a way, this reminds me of 'Socrates in Love'; or if that's too obscure, 'A Walk to Remember'.

The Bible passage at the end was a nice touch as well.

I always find your works to be so interesting. I especially liked how you started and ended this one; very candid, very in-your-face oral story-telling. This was kind of sad, kind of happy, it reminds me of memory remnants; fragmented puzzle pieces of some kind of life.

Good job.

I liked the constant switching between different viewpoints and the quotes. I also liked the little doses of humor.

snap! this is just so adorable! kudos to you! what part I loved? the part when shikamaru said: "You're dripping on the tatami..." and she replied, "then keep me from touching anything but you..." I love how you played with words. nicely done!

Unfortuntaely I don't have the freedom to devote time to actual analysis but I did rather enjoy this story. You could almost cut the introduction down in half and I think maintain the feel you have throughout without giving a misleading impression. The introduction is a complete story but I think it could probably be a bit shorter and retain both the fairy tale aspect and flow with the rest. But really I just enjoyed this story a lot.