Reviews for Adventure's in Time

Reviews For: Adventure's in Time - Reviews: Page 1 of 5

Glodfindel 2008-09-01 ch 2, anon.	abuseWith th exeption of the wings you gawe to harry your story is wery good and I like your stile of writing the plotline hawe great potencijal if you chous to exploit it in the maner you allredi startet ,I hope you'll continue the storry and update soon .
Dunelord 2008-08-25 ch 1,	abusewhere to start? 1. "Luckily for him he wasn't as helpless as he used to be. He had been absorbing information out of Tom's head for almost two years. After which he performed many dark rituals. He used them to increase his speed,strength, mental comprehension, reading speed, faster magical recovery, eyesight, and so that he would only need the minimum of four hours of sleep a night. He even performed rituals to gain the powers of several dark creatures including fangs and wings of a vampire and the effects of a dementor. These had come at a price, unimaginable pain and a slight hunger for blood at times. He had spent the summer months absorbing books on battle magic, dark rituals, necromancy, runes, parsel-magic, and so-called light and dark magic from the Black and Potter Family libraries. He even study technomancy and made his two favorite handguns, an assortment of other weapons, and a wide selection of electronics that would work in high magical areas. He even made some lenses that could fit on his eyes that read power levels, health statics, infrared, x-ray vision, and color changing. He didn't really know what he was going to do at the moment so he decided to visit Knockturn alley. Luckily for him he wasn't as helpless as he used to be. He had been absorbing information out of Tom's head for almost two years. After which he performed many dark rituals. He used them to increase his speed,strength, mental comprehension, reading speed, faster magical recovery, eyesight, and so that he would only need the minimum of four hours of sleep a night. He even performed rituals to gain the powers of several dark creatures including fangs and wings of a vampire and the effects of a dementor. These had come at a price, unimaginable pain and a slight hunger for blood at times. He had spent the summer months absorbing books on battle magic, dark rituals, necromancy, runes, parsel-magic, and so-called light and dark magic from the Black and Potter Family libraries. He even study technomancy and made his two favorite handguns, an assortment of other weapons, and a wide selection of electronics that would work in high magical areas. He even made some lenses that could fit on his eyes that read power levels, health statics, infrared, x-ray vision, and color changing. He didn't really know what he was going to do at the moment so he decided to visit Knockturn alley." kinda implausible and rushed. you basically made him a killer in 2 year, ignoring that Voldemort, Dumbledore and Grindelwald, all became powerful wizards over decades, if not more. 2. "Harry ended up buying himself a new trunk and some more obscure potions ingredients. Next he made his way to a shop that sold illegal or rare animals, he figured he could do with a new familiar. He walked into the shop and looked around, it appeared to be a regular pet shop but he knew better. Harry walked up to the owner who had just finished helping a old lady buy food for her cat. “May I help you, sir?” The owner asked with a sneer. “Yes I would like to see some of your rarer merchandise and be quick about it, I don't have all day. I assure I will pay very well if the merchandise is of satisfaction.” Harry told the man with a glare. The shop owner seemed to shrink back but then held himself high, “Very well sir follow me.” He led Harry down the stairs in the back hid behind a rotating wall. Harry ducked a second before a blade swooshed over his head. He grabbed the man ahead of him and slammed into the wall. “Don't with me old man. You just made a huge mistake.” Harry said a moment before pulling out one of his guns and firing a bullet into his left knee . The shopkeeper fell to the floor clutching his leg, tears of pain running down his face. “I was going to give you some very good business today but now...” Harry trailed off while shaking his head and placing the man in a body-bind and snapping his wand. He looked around the shop and pulled out his trunk. He took his time packing everything in the store inside while the owner looked on in horror. He found a hidden floor compartment that contained different eggs, including phoenix, runespore's , dragon, and a basilisk. Harry cast some suspended animation fields over the eggs so they wouldn't hatch. Once he was finished he casts some wards around the building and walked back towards the owner." if you could get all of that at Knockturn what would be the point? too much too soon. writing Knockturn as a super magical department store where you can get everything doesnt really work much. 3. "“I need to place a sum of ten million galleons, 2,0 sickles and 42 knuts in my new vault. I also have several animals and eggs that need to be placed in the vault, along with some jewelry and fine gems estimated at the worth of two million galleons. I would like the vault to have to take the key, recognize blood, and magical signatures to gain entry. I would like the vault to be separated into five rooms off of the main room. I want each of the doors to only open after scanning for magical signatures.” Silas said. “I want the main room for my gold and jewels, I want one of each of the other rooms for books, weapons, potion ingredients, jewelry, and Animals. I have them all in this trunk.”" having all sorts of cool ** like that? not to mention the 10 mil. if a wand is only 7 gallons, and that conversion is something like a gallon to fifty pounds, you just made everyone in the wizarding world rich. my advice? use the year's standards for the metals, makes it much easier for finaces. and finally: 4. “Miletooth take Mr. Gaunt to the Ravenclaw and Slytherin family vaults.” Gragnork said. “Yes sir.” Miletooth replied with a bow. “Please follow me sir.” Silas stood before bowing slightly to Gragnork. “May your gold always flow and we make great profits together.” The cart ride down to the Slytherin vaults was a long one. Silas just sat back and enjoyed the ride, his face impassive. Harry stepped up to the vault doors. They were made of solid gold, in the center was a carving of a basilisk with it's mouth open and two emeralds for eyes, while it's tail was curled around the Slytherin family crest. Above the Basilisk was the carved the words 'SLYTHERIN FAMILY VAULT'. “I Ssilass Ezekiel Gaunt requesst entrance to my family vault.” Silas said causing the young goblin beside his to shiver a little and the basilisk to animate. “Come forth and sspill your blood on the doorss sspeaker.” The large basilisk hissed out. Harry pulled out a dagger without hesitation and slit his palm before smearing on the basilisk's fangs. The two emeralds glowed for a few seconds before returning to normal. “Enter your vault masster.” The basilisk hissed before the doors opened. The vault was sectioned off into different rooms. The room as you stepped through the door was filled with trunks of galleons,sickles, and knuts. Off to the side were also trunks full of jewels. The doors to the other vault rooms were individually labeled: Weapon's and Armor, Family Jewels, Library, Potion's, and familiars. He needed the heir ring to be able to enter any of these rooms and in the middle of the main vault was a pedestal with a cushion on it. Silas walked towards the pedestal before placing his hands on it. A surge of magic went through him before there was a bright flash. After the light settled Silas looked down at the Slytherin heir ring. It wasn't as large as the Lordship ring(which Harry knew to be a Horcrux), and was made of silver instead of platinum. There was an emerald green stone in the middle with two snakes curled around the outside. The sides had the Slytherin family crest on it. Harry picked it up before slipping it on his left first finger. Another surge of magic went through him as the ring recognized it's master. He almost shuddered to think what would happen if it didn't accept him. The Slytherin family wasn't really known for being softies and were known for their capabilities with the Dark Arts and Potions. Silas felt a slight pull on his magic and walked towards the weapons room where it was coming from. As he laid his hand on the door it flashed brightly before melting away. He stepped towards the table on the end and he felt the pull strengthen. He closed his eyes and reached out. His hand touched cool metal. Opening his eyes he saw a pair of wicked looking daggers. They were obvious of Elven make and the blades were made of mithril and shined with a light of their own. Runes for sharpness, self-cleaning, unbreakable and bonding were etched into the blade. The blades themselves were twelve inches long and the tip curved slightly upwards while the handle curved downwards. The handle was made of what looked to be polished black ivory with a snake curled up on either side made of mithril as well. Harry sliced his finger and allowed blood to drop on the blades. He felt the bonding take and would be able to call them to him at any time. He slid them them into the specially modified holster on the back of his robe. They had a cushioning charm on them so they didn't poke him in the back. He also grabbed a pair of basilisk hide boots, cloak, vest, and gloves. Silas walked in the library next and picked his way through the books taking down those that interested him. He found a note that said there were blank books towards the bottom so anyone wanting to take the books could make a copy of the originals. Silas took out his wand and whispered “Copy” over the books, watching as they were copied into the blanks beside them. Silas shrank the books afterwards and walked to the last room he wanted to check out, the familiars. Touching the door he watched it dissolve like the others had before. He walked around the room stretching out his magic before feeling a pull. He walked over to the shelf and found a medium sized black, silver, and gold egg. He pushed his hand through the suspended animation field and picked up the egg before sliding it into his pocket. He walked towards the goblin escorting him. “I am finished here and would like to go to the Ravenclaw vault.” Silas said. “Of course sir.” The goblin quickly replied. They climbed back into the cart and went further down, taking another five minutes to arrive at the Ravenclaw vault. The doors to the vault were golden as well but instead of an animal under the 'Ravenclaw Family Vault' there was a large blue gem. Silas walked up to the door and placed his palm against the surprisingly warm gem. “I Silas Ezekiel Gaunt request entrance to my family vault.” Silas said. The gem began to glow and grew warmer before a gentle voice spoke, “Enter Silas Ezekiel Gaunt.” Harry immediately went to the library section of the vault. He knew that there had to be some amazing books in there. He slowly and carefully made a copy of each book before shrinking and placing them in his trunk. He felt a pull towards the “family jewelry” room. Inside he walked towards the back following another pull again. He reached out and picked up an amulet. It was round shaped with a silver stone in the middle with a silver star embedded in it. The paper beside it said that it would provide the person who wore it protection from lower to mid-range curses including the Dark Arts. The stone was actually a healing stone created by Rowena Ravenclaw. It would be able to heal minor wounds and assist with others. He walked to the pedestal in the middle and called the Ravenclaw heir ring to him. It was made of gold and had the Ravenclaw family crest on the sides with a blue diamond for the stone. He slid on his finger and he willed it to disappear. Silas rode the cart to his new vault and organized it the way he wanted it. He was finally able to make it back to the surface and got his money bag. It was black with the Gringott's seal embroidered in silver. pulling the Heir of the founders is old and a dirty quick way of making a story work, please dont fall into that trap, you have a lot of potential as a writer. you have a good plot, but wrote it up rather badly. i would suggest redoing it. with regard, Dunelord
David Fishwick 2008-08-04 ch 2,	abuseInteresting idea and please update soon thanks. Will Harry join Voldemort then?
Tyr 2008-07-27 ch 2, anon.	abuseGOD! NEXT
linus 2008-07-18 ch 2, anon.	abusea very nice one this...the time travel maybe cliche, but mixed in with the other surprises, it's actually a very refreshing story. i'd like to see how Harry goes on from here. will he follow Voldemort or will he choose his own way of fighting against Voldemort without being in Dumbles' camp? very interesting indeed...
Isles 2008-07-15 ch 2,	abuseAwesome story, I'm really looking forward to reading future updates.
linusp 2008-07-05 ch 2, anon.	abuseThis is a good one so far. Harry has Slyth blood and time travel themes! do you intend to continue or is this abandoned? i'd definitely encourage you to keep going.
Marikili68 2008-06-13 ch 2,	abusei love your story it is awesome please uodate soon!
Lord Zander 2008-06-11 ch 2,	abusegreat story a little rushed but i can understand it, and update soon.
The Cheeky Brat 2008-06-07 ch 2,	abuseGood please update soon
Kryztol Thorn 2008-06-07 ch 2,	abuseI love it. Please continue and update soon!
Dark Harry87 2008-06-06 ch 2,	abuseI like the story, i'll be following.
mm 2008-06-06 ch 2, anon.	abuseupdate soon! ^.^
brolly501 2008-06-05 ch 2,	abuseinteresting
henriette 2008-06-04 ch 2,	abuseYou know...there is awfully many plotholes in this story...like Harry doesn't seems bothered that he has been sent to the past. That he still had his clouthes, wand and trunck on him even after the ritual...correct me if I'm wrong but magical rituals would need the subject to be without any magical tool or possesions that could dissturb the ritual right? And how did Harry know which year he was sent to? How can he know things like where to go and the like if he hasn't read up on the WW of 1975? And the snake...why does she a hatchling know what a name is, have a name, know how a snake and a wizard bond, know her rase and the like, she has just been hatched, snakes can not be born with such knowledge, i don't even know if they can speak right of the beat like that...Anyway, I would still like to see where you take this fic, though it's much more like an AU then a time travell fic

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