Reviews for Longing For Home

Reviews For: Longing For Home

Dumbledare 2008-08-07 ch 5,	abuseExcellent job. A thought provoking work. Good job!
Otaku Samurai 2008-07-28 ch 5,	abuseHey, this is pretty good! Please update soon, I like this story ^^
andii 2008-06-25 ch 5, anon.	abuseI loved it it was awesome
Dizzy The Magical Fpoon 2008-05-21 ch 4,	abuseHoly shizzlesticks, now I really want the next chapter! Update quickly? Pwetty pwease with sugar and sprinkles on top?
Dizzy The Magical Fpoon 2008-05-21 ch 3,	abuseThis is really well written! Can't wait for an update.
CompanionWanderer 2008-05-13 ch 3,	abuseYay, another one! You have a gift for description, particularly of places. I despair of those, so I really appreciate the way you can, in a few simple words, convey the general sense of setting much the same way Alexander did. I can readily visualize Avren Harbor and Caer Dallben and the surrounding countryside, the way you lay them out. Nice way to underscore Eilonwy's anticipation for home in the way she contrasts her present happiness with the doleful memories of her last journey. It is good to see her appreciating not only what she will see when she arrives but what she sees along the way. A future queen needs to learn to love all aspects of this land (and I love Dallben's little foreshadowing hint, too!) The apple cake is a homey touch, and makes me hungry. Eilonwy is such a spitfire and tomboy that it's difficult to imagine her cheerfully doing something so domestic, but it gives a nice roundness to her personality. Here, as in Dark Wyrd, you have made both Taran and Eilonwy several years younger than I have been accustomed to thinking them at this point - admittedly you are much more accurate historically as far as what would have been the age of maturity in medieval times, if we were talking about a real place. Here, it serves you well, since it appears Taran has really only hit his growth spurt in the last year since she's seen him and makes for that fun little "wow" moment at the end of the chapter. Sort of that "girl-next-door-all-grown-up" device turned around. It's a fun element - that jolt of realization. I do see a couple nitpicky things that make me suspect you rushed this chapter a little more than the others: 1st paragraph, your tense jumps on the last sentence; "It HAD been almost a year," would read better in context, I think. Similarly about halfway down, talking about Taran's quirks, I think "They WERE frustrating and annoying" would keep the tense more consistent than the contraction "they're". I know it's a little bit "in-her-head" so to speak, but overall this is past tense so her thoughts should be portrayed as such. 2nd to last paragraph, first sentence "there" should be "their". And this is totally personal taste, but when you are describing Taran's eyes, the word "angst" really throws me out of the story because of its modern connotations with emo punk teenage kids. That's really the only context I hear it in these days, (usually when someone is ridiculing said kids) and it seems out of place here. I would describe Taran as intense and idealistic, but not angsty necessarily. Could there be something less fraught with modern slang associations - like "blue eyes blazing with intensity" or something to that effect? Just a suggestion. More, please!
RhiannonAmidala 2008-05-12 ch 2,	abuseoh I liked it! for the same reasons that CW so eloquently voiced!
CompanionWanderer 2008-05-12 ch 2,	abuseI've always thought of Eilonwy being fully aware of her feelings for Taran by this point in the series, so it's interesting to see a different perspective - fun, too, because I assume we'll get to witness a little of this discovery? I admit to be rapturously sighing over how you're portraying the way she thinks of him - the comparison to the sea, the warm comfortable association of home made just a little bit unsettling by this undercurrent of unrealized tension. Her uncertainty is appealing and is going to keep me glued. "Gentle, yet powerful; soothing to the touch and wild in spirit." That just makes me breathless. Be still my heart. :) Perfect. Greatly looking forward to more!
CompanionWanderer 2008-05-12 ch 1,	abuseOh my gosh. Excuse me while I...SQUE... ahem. Sorry. Silly fangirl moment there. It's neat to see you going in a very different direction from your other fic (not that there's anything wrong with THAT one, just, it's good to see your versatility). As always, I am a sucker for almost anything Eilonwy-centric, so that helps, too. I LOVE how you've portrayed life at Caer Dallben in this chapter. It being something I have long turned over in my own mind, I can appreciate the details - how fascinated Eilonwy would be with farm life after her rearing under Achren's bleak and barren rule, how a nature like hers would respond to Coll's wholesomeness, Dallben's wisdom, and Taran's impetuousness and energy. You've really captured some beautiful moments here: playing with the chicks, learning lessons with Dallben (nice! that's something I hadn't thought much about), watching the crops grow. It's a nice touch giving Taran an interest in medicinal herbs. I'd always thought of his just having a basic practical knowledge gleaned from Coll and Adaon; the idea of his taking an interest beyond that gives some extra dimension to his character. Beautiful start. Looking forward to where you go with this.

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