Reviews for LoZ: working on title

Aeralyse
2008-05-14
ch 1,

abuseWell, not trying to sound like a jerk or anything, but I think you really should work on your grammar, verb tenses, and spelling. Especially before you post. I felt that the story didn't flow well and it was too choppy.
I didn't think that you communicated the characters in the way that they ought to be. And I thought that the situations in this chapter were a little superficial.
A little work, and you could turn this into a good thing. Every story has potential, as every story has its imperfections. I know I probably sound a little brutal, but please, please don't be offended.

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