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| Yemi Hikari 2008-08-15 ch 1, | abuseWell, my first suggestion is, this first chapter has tense problems and is written in a narrative tone, the author is telling the story instead of letting the chapter tell itself. By editing it for the second part, it could be extended to more then one chapter, or in length for just the chapter. Second, what about one of those contraption accident pranks, where a series of things go off to cause something that normally would be a small prank be something bigger? |
| anime-wolf-lucky 2008-06-03 ch 1, | abusewow thats an awesome idea for a story, its different =P please continue. if i get an idea i might call u on it? |
| redastra2000 2008-05-19 ch 1, | abusebloody good mate. did you say you were gonna feature muffy? see what happenes when her skirt falls down. haha. bye |
| needles 2008-05-10 ch 1, | abuseI have some suggestions. 1. Put Mr. Ratburn's desk supplies in the school vending machine. 2. Put animal pheromones in Mr. Haney's binaca spray. 3. Make someone put a bottle of soda in their pants pocket and make it look like they peed theirself. |
| Shinjinator 2008-05-10 ch 1, | abuse-Brain makes Arthur get a huge boner on stage in front of everyone at the talent show like Jimmy in that episode of South Park. -Brain uses his prank note to place cocaine in George's locker and reports him to Mr. Haney, George gets arrested and expelled. BTW, I'm thinking about doing a Doug fanfic in the style of Mr. Ratburn Has Tourette's where Doug's teacher, Mr. Bone, gets in an accident and later finds out he has Tourette's, so now he cusses out Doug and his pals in class. It's going to be somewhat different from your fic, I will use some material from South Park, some from the Tourette's Guy, and some of it will be my own material. Mr. Bone's situation is based off of something that actually happened to my geometry teacher about a few months ago, he crashed into a tree while on his tractor and a huge branch fell on him from about 35 feet high and cracked open his skull, he had to have major surgery and is still suffering from severe headaches, but he doesn't have Tourette's or anything like that, thank god. |
| Depthmon 2008-05-09 ch 1, | abuseplease coninue man |