It's a pity you have not developed these chapters into a full story. It had a very good beginning (first 3 chapters at least were very well written). Wish you luck with your fresh ideas.

I liked this story. It's not overly dramatic. It's simple. A lot of stories have big problems like the Volturi and relationship problems and just over the top stuff. What some people seem to forget is the blood lust. Some people forget that vampires aren't in control of it. Just like werewolves, they're unpredictable.

Great job with the story!

awesome story, its a pity your not continuing it =[ but its still good

Edward doesn't have hony blond hair in the 3rd chapter he has bronz

I enjoyed this story. It was a very original concept, at least to me. I can't remember reading a story similar to yours at all. It's always refreshing to read something that isn't a repeat of everyone else's. I don't have anything to offer in the way of a critique because I think you're an amazing writer and don't notice anything out of place. I wouldn't mind seeing this story go on, but I can see how difficult it would be to add more when you're not really into the story. Who knows, maybe one day inspiration will hit and bam out comes a few more chapters. I can only hope. :)

Please continue! Thank you.

ok have fun visiting your aunt! dont take too long to get back into the forlorn groove! lol UPDATE SOON!

well i loved the story while it lasted.

i like the idea! i'll try to check out the myspace! UPDATE SOON!

she killed her own father? Oh that's just mean. this is good. i like it.

I like your story, please continue

yay bella controled her thirst! UPDATE SOON!!

this is a great story. i hope you finish it

i wonder if edward really will try anything? lets hope so!! UPDATE SOON!

Oh my god i love it! Please write more...id get on my knees and beg if it helps =D
Its well written and ...i cant describe it. Well done and please, please write more chapters!
regards