Oh, and in the meantime, this is kinda how I envision the chase in Clock Town going:

http://w(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?hl=en&v=18CGW9P5Y9M

:p

Some interesting viewpoints here, like the last interlude.

My favorite was Tingle's section, I think. Mainly the way it - and his earlier appearance a few chapters back - strayed away from the normal 'deranged Tingle' far too many people write. I definitely prefer a sympathetic, childishly curious Tingle.

And now that's it's appeared in both of them so far and is totally recurring, I also enjoy all of the reconciliation that goes on during the interludes.

Awaiting the second end of the world!

are u going to add the masks for fierce deity or no? or is he just going to get the mask?

You have managed to huminize even tingle. This is no small feat.

You dipictions of the overlooked Deku race are utterly facinating.

dont worry, u aint alone, i was screaming softly in time with link, lol ^o^

And now we go into the Just-A-Little-Deranged-It-'s-Still-Good! section of those who inhabit Termina. ;p

I cannot wait for Ikana. Keep it up!

Hey, just wanted to give you some kudos for sticking with a novelization fic. Only through the first 6 chapters so far, but I've really been enjoying the subtle changes in the plot(no more mask salesman, different approach to the Bombers), but it is still faithful to the game I loved and I still get that whole 'nostalgia' thing reading this. Excited about the multiple time-lines thing, too.

If I have a problem, it would be Tatl. I find her annoying. I realize this is an intentional character choice - still, I cringe when she spouts things like, “What did you say to him? Ugh, you always just have to mess things up... And why did you run off like that? Did you even think about me for a second there, you selfish twerp? Ooh, you stupid... thing...” Seems just a little gratuitous and bordering on silly. But, whatever, I love the characterization of everybody else so far, especially Link. Can't wait to see what comes up next.

How have I not seen this story before?! This is great! Finally, a fanfic that gets the consequential mechanics of time travel right! That, and the humor and the characterizations make it a stand-out. Hell, the first Interlude chapter's my favorite so far, with the second being, well, a close second. This is so going on my favorites list.

5/5*

Going to break my lurker status for this one. Loved the Second Foundation trick with the hags. You were brave enough to actually show them interacting silently and describe it as such, and it worked. Bravo. Really, you're interludes may be the best part of this story, the drinking scene with the carpenter boss and the captain of the guard was less aggressive but it gave a great send-off to the city that these two rather impressive fellows love enough to go down alongside.

More general praise. I like that you tend to provide quick, evocative descriptions rather than trying to paint a full picture with words. Also, you gave Link voice even when he didn't have one. Cheers. I was almost sad when you made him not a heroic mime because I was really fond of his expressiveness as a Deku Scrub. Actually i really like a lot of the voices you've built for characters. Expecially Tatl, who I have gotten a lot more fond of since your story than my time with her in the game. Nice to see her snide defensiveness get played against her. Tunsdere does not live by Tsun alone.

My first concern as of this update is the monkey root. It was a neat little aside when the monkeys first appeared to cover the talking-monkey oddity in the game, but now its appeared multiple times and has the additional ability to calm people down. This is turning into strange stuff, and it begs for a resolution in-story. I'm hoping it appears sometime later as the secret ingredient to a blue potion or some nonsense. Doesn't need to be much, just something to acknowledge it.

Anyway, very happy to have been able to enjoy reading your work.

Very well done on the secondary characters. I usually don't give a damn about them but still, this was really interesting to read.

Aww, a very nice interlude to the story. :D I loved the title of the chapter! ^_^ And the atmosphere you put down was amazing--especially the part in the beginning with Kotake and Koume. Very interesting.

I don't care what anyone else says, I'm beginning to think that the Interludes of the story are the most philosophical and the some of the best chapters to read.

Each of the segments were well written and interesting. The Hags' talking via the way they do makes perfect sense considering how old they are. Tingle's fits him, and somehow was my favorite of the four. His viewpoint actually makes sense if you played the game. I was wondering how he would react to Link's Deku Mask/Form. And it somehow managed to be heartwarming as well.

Still, I wonder what Link's gonna do/find in the these final hours. Maybe he'll just stick around until the last minute to see what happens?

And yes. NO RULES!

As weird as the transitions are for these overview and development chapters, I really like them and it works, I think.
I am really thrilled with what you did on the Magic Hags, especially.
Tingle was a clever touch, in his poem-style musings. And I guess I don't feel so sad about the lack of Kaepora Gaebora because Tingle pretty much made his point withou all the feathery (*coughpuncough*) language and instruction.
The Deku Palace scenes made me smile, even when the butler is upset about the deku mask and all those problems. I'm not really sure why- it might have to do with the little monkey's obliviousness, but it also might be because effectively heartbreaking things make me smile.

As strange as it sounds, the only thing I would change is the opening paragraph. I'd switch the Inside to first and tie the outside into... somewhere else.

But this is just my personal quirk and it probably doesn't jam with your writing style.

NO RULES!

I wonder how I would feel, seeing my son's skinned face like that...