Verg was a shark? I always thought he was a dog. ANd I thought he died at the end of the last episode and Mutio just carried his corpse underwater. Ah well, it's been a long time since I've seen the anime. Anyway, this is well written. I would read more, but it's late and I'm tired.
At last, the time has arrived to the point that I have finally read the whole thing, took me a few days of hard reading and the imagination, but I did it in the end.
OK, The story so far, (Might contain 'spoilers' so read story first.)
The story is straightforward and well written, the crew of the blue six take a much needed vacation with new members added to the mix that I believe came from other sources other then the film. The Author did mention that elements of the game are in this story, however it was completely useless to me, as I have never played the game, some key or description of all the new elements outside the story would be helpful for people that have been unable to play the game, however the story is much enjoyable to someone who has no idea anyway ;)
The story then gets rolling with some action as the crew are then sent on a mission to start peace talks with the Chimera (Zorndyke's creations). Of course this story is a Mutio and Hayami flick, so both of them are desperate to see each other and the peace talks offer a good opportunity.
However as everything begins to go according to plan, rebel organizations with a hatred for the creatures attack the peace summit and mess the whole thing up.
The blue sub is then damaged and taken to the Steam base in Antarctica for repairs. Hayami and Mutio's relationship develops and Cekeros gets a secret admirer.
The story ends with Hayami leaving the blue fleet and waiting for the love of his life Mutio.
The story is well descriptive and the reader has a plane idea about what is happening in the story and all around, reasons and intentions are clear and the story at times very exciting to read, I would have liked to see more battle scenes but what I read was well set and I am not complaining ;)
Kino seemed to have accepted Hayami relationship a little too fast for my taste, I always thought she would have taken longer and hated what was happening with them two. But that’s the impression I received from the movie anyway. But Verg on the other hand, I am sure he was more nasty and evil, not so soft as portrayed in this story, However since the author did play the game and knows more then I do, I put my hat up to him.
The relationship and building up to it by Hayami and Mutio was well done, I thought the searching and looking part at the middle of the story was very touching and indeed and eventually made me hooked into reading it further, It was nice having them finally meeting them self’s like that.
The idea that Mutio is unable to speak is a difficult one for me to believe, she could clearly try and speak in the movie at the very end and the singing is there two. Verg on the other hand I believe he cannot speak and uses the voice box, but Mutio's people I think should be able to speak given time. (Sorry to bring that up, I read it somewhere, not sure if it was the story or the Authors Website :S 'Hides under table.')
Now to bring this review to end and I have one more thing. What's going on with Alex Cekeros. I thought that this addition to the story;
Quote : - "Alex sighed as he turned back to observe the hybrids swimming about. One Mutio had been staring at their direction for some time. Alex couldn't help but narrow his eyes and lean forward for a better look. It was definitely peering at him, and it seemed to be...smiling? For some reason the Casanova started to feel very uneasy, and not at all flattered. He returned a nervous smile and waved slightly with one hand."
This was a ingenious addition to the story and very believable, I really wanted this worked on and more added to the following chapters to add genuine humour to the story, Alex seemed like the man to act like a fool and get himself into more trouble with love and so forth and give the story more humour if more was added, this would have cheered up the later chapters and made it more interesting. However nothing more was said except for the very end when Alex sat at his table daydreaming about someone.. Let me guess... Um nasty little dilemma the Author left for everyone.
However, all in all, this was one of the best stories I have read so far and a definite reading material for any fan.
Found myself a new story and I copied and pasted all the chapters in 'word' and printed it all off, Umm I didn't realize it was over 70 pages, so after some careful formatting and getting it down to 40 pages, ye-haa, I can take the whole thing to work and read it at my leisure.
Right My review...
The first two chapters seem to be separated into short parts and it all represents the first story, When I began reading the story I was pleasantly shocked at how well written the whole thing was, There are not many stories that has the rest of the crew involved and it's nice to see one in such detail and depth. The author has gone through great length to know his stuff and added things I didn't know about. I phase him/her on this work
The first part, or chapter of this story focuses around Iga and his two new crew members who are a little excited and want to know Iga's war stories, this causes him to have a flash back and this is when the reader is blessed with more knolage about what happened when the Enemy Ship is sunk at the end of the movie.
The second chapter of this last part kinda lost me, I was not sure where I was in the story, but after reading on, it appears I was reading in the time during the war with Zorndyke and if focused around Kino and Gilford in the Mess hall, Gilford eventually died in Blue Sub 6 during the battle. I thought it was very pleasant and sensible touch to add the 'Moby Dick' stories in as an example and add a more history feeling to the story.
Not being a writer myself I didn't find any errors in the story except the minor forgotten errors like Kino's hair color that will not effect it much, but the shear quality and scale of the story make is a very pleasant read at least.
I am currently reviewing the rest at work and will post more review as time permits.
"Wars are ugly affairs." I love that quote, but in the case of Hayami and Mutio, I'm happy they found love in such a horrible war. This was great! I really wasn't expecting anything so...well, insightful, expertly written, and just plain romantic! It's nice to see someone that does their homework when writing fanfictions (along with being a die-hard fan of the series)and I feel that I learned a lot from reading this (thanks for the morals) too. Keep up the good work, you seem to have a knack for this kind of writing.
I must commend you for writing one of the best interspecies/monster girl-type romances I've ever seen. You may not consider yourself good with romance and Hayami may have been a tad bit overly sappy at times (his heart shows more in his actions than his words, though admittedly Mutio did bring out some of his more heartfelt words in the series), but the romance was still much better than you give yourself credit for.
Ever since I first saw Blue Sub 6 my favorite character has been the red-eyed Mutio and I have also always liked the idea of her and Hayami's deep connection in the series developing into something romantic. Even if officially this may not be greatly supported I am glad that the series left the possibility open
Your depiction of Mutio's character was wonderfully done, especially given how constrained you were by her limited human speech. Be it her hissing scene with Kino, her first kiss, or her curiosity about things and desire to understand, her forward desire to mate, you managed to make her the strong, wild but cute character that I think she was meant to be portrayed as. Smart as a human and human-like, but at the same time clearly not human.
Also, your various theories on how things in the Blue Sub world function, the motivations and thoughts of Zorndyke, Zerg and Mutio herself, was all plausible enough for me to accept as possible in the canon storyline, which is something I can't usually say when it comes to fanfics that make things up to fill in missing information.
The only thing I wish you had expanded on a bit that you didn't was that odd "cocooning" ability Mutio seemed to have. Twice in the series she appears greatly expand and distend her fins to create a sort of blanket, bubble or shroud of soft flesh. In the first episode she wraps herself in it during the credits, the result looking a bit like a egg's embryo in shape. It appears to serve to protect her while sleeping and perhaps help her heal. She later forms it around Hyami (at least I assume it is the same thing) when saving him, where it seems to allow his body to remain alive and stable underwater.
Well I guess I have one other regret, namely that I will likely never see anyhting more of those Mutio/Hayami artworks on the Blue Dome site than the one that won the contest and the little pieces previewed for said contest. But I guess that's not really your fault and I should be thankful for what I get, but honestly I would rather see one of those than the Mutio/Kino art posted recently.
But back to your review, your various notes on extra details of the Blue Sub story that are only available in Japanese, on games etc. added much to my enjoyment of the series itself.
Indeed, your fanfic inspired me to go ahead and buy the series on DVD. _
P.S. given your level of knowledge on the series is quite a bit higher than mine, perhaps you might explain something for me from the series that continues to perplex me. Why is it when she first appeared on land from her vehicle Mutio appeared largely unable to breathe air without water, and yet later on is shown spending extended periods on land without ill effect?
Perhaps it was a matter of simply becoming too dry, but that doesn't make sense given her mecha was full of liquid that should have kept her more than moist. Then perhaps it was a matter of going into some kind of shock from the crash, which somehow caused her ability to breathe air to be hampered.
Thanks for your reviews and constructive criticism. I've sent you a reply via email, if you're interested.
To clarify on one point though. Yes, I'm a typical straight guy who enjoys sex, porn, gadgets and money. Romance to me is a time-wasting activity that a guy is forced to endure and participate in with a girl before he can get to the umm...good stuff. :P
Funny thing about women is that they're sometimes able to make their romance-hating boyfriends enjoy the activity, even if occasionally. I'm such a victim. And Hayami too looks like.
Women...them strange creatures.
Happy to know that my story has entertained you. Stay healthy!
(please review/flame so I can improve. It means a lot to us sad writers.) well. since you're willing for a flame, yes it was a bit mushy, Hayami seemed too ooc in that kissie scene.
judging by how he was in the anime i wouldn't have expected him to be so "I WUV YOU MUTIO!" that's what a girl would say, o.O i always expected guys like Hayami to be more reserved, or...hm, although it's been a year and you said he'd changed a little in that time; but still MAKE HIM A MAN! he needs a smoke x3 other than that i can't believe this story was written by a guy, it's really good, and fluffy! o_o you're not a chick pretending to be a dude are you? cause i'd never have a dude to be a softie in writing x3 plus it's much better than the other blue submarine 6 fics out there (gets death glare from other authors) o.o; u-ur...
other random comments
1.glad you stuck with the happy version, the augst one would have just ticked me off T.T and made me sad v_v.
2. you write like a goddess...even though i should say god but ya now the title suits you somehow XD
3.yes, i'm reading your story for the second time lol
4. YOU ROCK DUDE! XD keep up the work, i see promise in your writing yesh yesh :3
(stares at story) o.o...wow...I FREAKIN WUV YOU! (tackle glomps you over) i am lost for words this was incredible to read, AND IT'S HAYAMIXMUTIO! WOO! I WUV THAT PAIRING YOU SO SHOWED THEM OFF BRILLENT (runs around screaming happily)
:3 so many things i want to say, every i loved you really captured the world in one of those ship bottles and made it your own while keeping the characters true to who they are, and did i mention i love HamyamixMutio lol
Kino: you did (points up)
o.o...-.- (pushes her off ship) shoo!
for some reason i love those romance stories where they shouldn't be together because what they are( something or other) i guess that's why i like this pairing so much, gotta say you're one of the few authors that have pulled it off, i enjoyed reading this all the way through, even the action scenes with the ships and stuff got me hooked (and i hate ship films XD)
i truely do hope you write a sequel in the future (THE END
(For now...?) come on XD you know you should lol perhaps Mutio could learn sign language, (o.O i think you mentioned something about a voice box thingy that helps them talk?) although, she'd most likely confuse Hamyami if he doesn't know it lol XD
Mutio: x3 (drawing on a board)
Hamyami: O_o bird-no flying shoe! no no wait wait! icecream stand!
Mutio: (blink)
O.o...or they could draw (nudges away)
THANK YOU FOR WRITING SUCH A COOL STORY I WUV YOU! YOU'VE MADE MY DAY, nah, WEEK, okay for as long as i am hooked on the blue submarine 6 fandom XD
o.o there's a fan blog you've done? hm, :3 i think i might check this out since i don't know of many places on the series (pokes your shoulder) o.O and what's this about bs6 Doujin?
FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination 
mobile edition
