 ritachi 2008-05-31 . chapter 1Miss me? Nah, of course not. Anyway, I decided to pop in with a little review just for you in spite of my busy schedule.
All I can say, in answer to your question at the bottom, is good try. I can see the effort and flow in this story. It is definitely a product of you and your writing style. It's beautiful, reflective, plausible, and definitely an entrancing tale of Sasuke's feelings.
However, the angst level just...isn't high enough, I should say. Not that it isn't a bad thing; it's just you hadn't tapped in enough, or even burrowed enough into Sasuke's guilt-ridden and insane subconscious in order to flesh out the full power of his character's angst (it felt like a very detailed summary of the chapter...). I can't sum it up perfectly into words, but I could only feel a smidge of angst in the whole story, and it seemed to come at the end. Maybe that's because I'm a person who needs a full-blown flood of angst to declare it so, but that's what I felt.
You can definitely write anything, Lutra-san, but from what I've seen, you haven't centered any genre as your expertise yet. I think you're more general than anything, with a touch of angst, drama, and romance thrown in the mix (as well as many other genres).
Anyway, I like how you tried to branch out to the other genres. It was fun to read, and a good story to boot. |
 sadbird 2008-05-18 . chapter 1*cries* that chapter was one of the most depressing chapters in all of naruto *cries some more* so sad! that is exactly what sasuke must be feeling right now! even though he said "lies", deep inside, he believed every word! omg, so sad!! I SO WANT TO HUG ITACHI AND SASUKE RIGHT NOW! |