Reviews for Sunshine Island Life

Reviews For: Sunshine Island Life

Killer raptor 2008-08-20 ch 2,	abuseI really like this story! It's well written, and you make good use of the characters. My only complaint is that you tend to use the caps lock button for emphasis. I don't recommend doing so since it's grammatically incorrect(yes, I know I'm nitpicking). Other than that, there's not much for me to criticize. Oh, and you may not want to say, "flames are welcome", if you're trying to use reverse psycology. Flamers take that as a challenge, I'm afraid. 9/10
Mistress Dark Star 2008-08-15 ch 8,	abuseI'm glad you added Vaults! The name Vaughn just doesn't stick to me... Anyway, another great chapter! By the way, are you going to go far with this story? Like proposal and marriage?
Mistress Dark Star 2008-08-05 ch 7,	abuseGreat chapter! Anyway~I liked how you used Danny. Really, though, I'd like Vaults to be an 'older brother' figure towards Chelsea. Vaults will probably pick up on Mark's feelings and help him out by talking to Chelsea. Even though he's usually cold and quiet, he seems like the person who picks up on other's feelings quickly.He'll be pretty helpful.
Mistress Dark Star 2008-06-15 ch 6,	abuseI like the fact thst this chapter is long! Real nice chapter, I like the fact that you added Vaults and Pierre! I guess one of the people is Karen? I don't know, she does come out in the game...I think.Her, the doc, and Cliff do as well.
AtemuManaLover 2008-06-14 ch 6,	abuse0.0 who is that person?cant wait^^
AtemuManaLover 2008-06-13 ch 5,	abusethis story is cute !! mark likes chelsea mark likes chelsea lol well update soon plz!
Mistress Dark Star 2008-06-01 ch 5,	abuseWell, so far so good!Anyway, the whole jealous thing should get started a little later on.Though, I think Chelsea should have somewhat of a relationship with the other boys as well.Such as having a "big sister" attitude towards Pierre.Maybe being a sort of guide for Vaults, trying to make him smile and all. That would definately be a real fuse for Mark.Especially if he thinks she likes one of the guys, probably Vaults.He, Vaults, would be good for the situation since Chelsea would always be around to talk to him and make him smile.Though, Mark would think that she likes him, when in fact they are only very good friends.
Mistress Dark Star 2008-05-24 ch 3,	abuseAnother great chapter! I liked the letter a lot! Anyway, Chelsea's personality is really good right now. Anyway, lovely chapter, and great humor!
SuperKatyDid 2008-05-24 ch 3,	abuseawesome, update soon
Ms.Sarcasm 2008-05-22 ch 2,	abuseThis was a really great chapter, and you did a wonderful job with spacing the text! And I like the way you portrayed Zack. He may be big and tough, but he is just one big lovable teddy bear. Anyway, I have no constructive criticism for this chapter! I really enjoyed it! Ms.sarcasm
Mistress Dark Star 2008-05-21 ch 2,	abuseThese two chapters were really great!Though, I'm not too big a fan of Mark x Chelsea.Of course, since this is your story you will have to decide on pairings and such.Well, I just really want Mark to get a little jelous.The only humor I can think of is Danny play flirting with Chelsea, and Chelsea pretty much ignoring him?I'm a Danny x Lily fan, so of course I wouldn't like them together, but Danny is perfect for starting a jelousy riot.
Ms.Sarcasm 2008-05-20 ch 1,	abuseI really like this, it has a very different beginning from other stories, it felt very fresh and new. I like that Claire, Jack and Mark are related to each other, and I like their personalities too. There was a sentence that didn't sound right, though. 'When he saw his little sister something, he narrowed his eyes at Mark'. I don't know why there was a 'something' in there. I think it might be better if you break up the text a little. Here is an example: "Jack? What's wrong?" Claire asked, going over to them. "D-Doug lent me a newspaper ..." he said softly. "There's nothing wrong with that, Jack. Go on" Mark said, smiling. "And ...it was on the front page..." he muttered. Claire hugged her brother. "You don't have to go on, Jack" she said goodheartedly. I changed the part where it says 'coming over to them', I think 'going over to them' sounds a little better. I enjoyed this very much, and I think it has a lot of potential! Great job! Ms.sarcasm.

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