Omg, that was so sad... :( Poor Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro... (spelt his name wrong, i bet)

Hey, I read and forgot to reveiw. I decided to stop being Shikamaru and finally sign in, lol.

This could be majorly improvised... And a sequel would be fairly nice. You kinda lead up to one in chapter 6, with "He could feel there chakras mixing together, creating something." Really got me excited for a minute...

If you want, I could re-vamp this for you. Just pm me if you accept.

...um? sudden/random ending much?

That was really sad dearie, it does need some work, but keep it up and you'll be amazing!

funny

OK I PUT IT ON AND TYPED IT FOR YOU BUT YOUR GONNA HAVE TO SPACE THEM OUT BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU WANNA SPACE THEM OUT :)

ADRIANA DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE MOVIES WITH ME AND WILLIS ON THURSDAY?

One thing I also forgot to mention in my outragous outburst.
Incest. Underage people.
Incest.
INCEST.
I'm all for free love, love who ever you want to. But there are borders >_<

UNDERAGE INCEST

a)Learn to make your sentences flow
b) You're gunna call someone a **, spell it right
c) The Gaara is far too out of Character, he isn't Gaara anymore
d) Despite my intense loating for the pairing, there is no plot surrounding it. You have no plot D=
e) Your chapters are to short and arn't continuous
f) Geez, I have so much to rant about it's untrue. Use some writing techneques.
g) CAPITAL LETTERS PLEASE
h) Adjectives may help
i) Use a theasaurus, your repetion of words is boring and monotonous
j) You have no plot D= This drival is mindnumbingly boring to read, you have successfully made me lose the will to live.

This may sound really harsh, but you need to do some serious work and improve your skills.