There are two very big problems with your story - three, actually. One, your chapters are too short to actually be called chapters, two: do you know the meaning of punctuation? You use it sometimes, at the end of sentences, but seriously. And second, you use too much description and usually go off topic. Description is good and all, but an overuse gets annoying.

Interesting story so far. Please do continue to write.

Best story ive read

ur biggest evr fan and best lil bro evr


sg

Nice start to the story,looking forward to reading more.

yo nice story
best harry potter fic i read in a while
glad someone made him a bad **.
hope u update soon
ur biggest fan

KR

good story.