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| ThorHammer17 2008-06-04 ch 1,  | abuseNot a bad story, very good for a oneshot, but you sort of left something out. The whole SGP thing is kind of a big deal. You really should go back and look for some of those errors and then repost this. That's huge for a oneshot. Oneshots have to look good. Or, if you don't feel like doing the hard work yourself (and believe me I know that feeling), you could always request a beta-reader. So yeah, good job, and try to fix this up just a tiny bit. |