|Reviews for Spartan IV|
| Dan abraham 1/31/12 . chapter 6
It was too short for me if I'm honest but I love the idea of Spartan 4's being created and love the idea of them going to find Master Chief just going to add it would take years for the Spartan 4's to get trained they would still be kids but great story so far just build on it
| Gaming Girl 7/16/08 . chapter 6
Awesome story dude!
Loven it but Im neein more of it!
you better update man...
Make sure you do one thing in this story that no bugger else normely dose...
Give he chief a grand/dramatic enterance!
Gotta love ya if ya do!
| exiled-druid 6/26/08 . chapter 4
i enjoyed reading, though, i wish there was more in this chapter.
i would suggest one thing though, instead of saying 'he/she then' so many times, type what you want to happen. after a few minutes, see if you can elminate a few of them.
this is what you did:
"Rence took out a Brute Major's power-amour and proceeded to blow its head off with his pistol, he then quickly retreated behind cover as a few high-velocity grenade pounded the wall behind the door. He then started taking pot-shots at any brutes he could aim at in time. He then activated a comm. With Trent so he could be heard clearly over the sounds of combat."
this is what i suggest you do:
"Rence took out a Brute Major's power-amour and proceeded to blow its head off with his pistol. as the Major fell, a Brute (whatever rank)fired a few high-velocity grenades, forcing him to quickly retreated behind a half opened door. figuring the human was dead because of the amout of sharpnel embeded in the walls around where the human was standing, the brute let his/her guard down and started to walk to see the dead human.
hearing the Brute coming toward him, Rence found an ideal spot for pumping the giant ape full of lead without being a large target.
the brute realized something wasn't right when he/she found no body. he/she knew he was in trouble as bullets started to fly at him/her, but before he/she could raise and fire his/her brute shot, a well aimed, (or increadably lucky) bullet landed right between his/her eyes. he/she fell to the floor as his/her blood started to pool under him/her.
happy with the only good form of a Brute, Rence radioed Trent"
i'm wasn't saying what you did was bad, but something about the amount of 'he then''s you had in it bothered me. (not sure why. i was never any good at english.)
this was mearly a suggestion. when i do something that doesn't look or sound right to me, i finish my thought (so i don't forget it) then come back a few minutes later and see what i can do to fix it.
please do not take what i said the wrong way.
| KonohaShinobi 6/25/08 . chapter 3
Character development,straight off plot alignment in correlation with the previous chapters, and now the addition of Covenant the suspense in the case of Trent's Alpha team.
This seems like its going to get off to a really good fight scene. Keep up the good work, I look forward to reading the next chapter soon.
| exiled-druid 6/25/08 . chapter 3
you got a good idea and you're going a great job.
this is the only story (outside of Red vs. Blue) that i like involving more spartians. do not be afraid to write what you want. do not be afraid to write more per chapter.
got one question: is the Arbiter still alive?
i look forward to reading more.
| KonohaShinobi 6/22/08 . chapter 2
Good plot so far, nice use of Halo knowledge and very well written, keep up the good work.