I read this several months ago... and I thought I reviewed it. Apparently I didn't... Oh well: we can rectify that.

Anyway, this is absolutely brilliant. There's a power in music that not a lot of people seem to get, so this was a wonderful fic to read. Ninian and Nils are well-depicted too (THANK YOU for not writing Nils as a little kid.) The idea that Ninian would turn Eliwood down because she needs to go back, rather than just because she's scared or worried, is an original way to show her as well. The writing flowed beautifully.

I can't find many mistakes at all: only that the beginning felt a little impersonal and distant, like a block of exposition. The thoughts of Nils and Ninian broke it up well, though, so it's still quite good.

[It was a beautiful night, but she didn't notice. The chill breeze cut through the gauzy wrap about her shoulders, but she was too distracted to care.] That sounded repetitive, just because of the 'but' in the middle.

Otherwise, this is a masterpiece. I don't know why I didn't review it before. Well done indeed.

Well, well... Good to see this got posted.
I like the changes you made to the first part. It really helped with the epic feel of the story. Of course I don't know the story that well but it painted a pretty epic picture. You did a really good job interweaving their thoughts with the narrative. I hardly even noticed the transitions. It was a hard thing to pull off and you did it pretty well.
I see you chose a different location for the background. It worked pretty well. I imagined oceans waves against the bluff, although a little more imagery to paint the setting might would have been nice. The setup seemed a little rushed. Too many things happened too fast for my liking. I felt you were rushing through it to get to the good parts. Conciseness is good but I felt a little more description would have improved it.
I really like the change to Nils. He comes across as a lot more awesome and mature in this version, but still retains some of that youthful brashness. I though it was a pretty good balance. He may still be young for a dragon, but he no longer feels like he's twelve.
This version didn't impact me as emotionally as other versions. I liked Nils more and it was good Ninian wasn't crying the whole time, but she also seemed a little too in control. I know you wanted to not focus too much on her and Eliwood, but it took away from the conflict that she faced. I didn't really get a feel that she loved him. It was mentioned somewhere in there I'm sure, but I missed that forlorn feeling that came across in previous versions.
Finally the 3rd from the last paragraph (the one that starts "It is said that even people heard the song that night) seemed a little awkward to me. I had to read it a couple times to figure it out and it still felt a little weird. It just didn't flow that well from sentence to sentence.
I did like the end though. This was definitely a story about her strength and "her song."

Ah, a story about song and dance. I always love those.
If you were to ask me, it's the last section of the story, the summary of what dance and song is about to dragons and to Ninian, that held the most impact for me. The descriptive language you used there, the way you made song and dance seem more than just a form of entertainment, was enchanting. A great conclusion to a great story about the impossible, about wishes and ultimately about the comfort that dancing and music brings to Ninian.
I can't exactly give any criticisms to this piece, although it would be better if you could make the transition between running from humans to meeting Eliwood clearer. I didn't quite catch it when the change was made, "But when they were captured and held powerless in the magician’s grasp, they found hope in one who showed them that men could be kind and good. They escaped with his help and continued their journey in the company of his son."
Since this is a turning point of the story (though a minor one), you should put more emphasis on this part. That's about it, keep up the good writing.

Wow. This was really good.

I enjoyed the interaction between Ninian and Nils--how she was a lot more open around him, and how he could see right through her so easily. I also REALLY like this new perspective on why Ninian's always whining and running away from Eliwood...it's not because she fears hatred, she fears that he will be able to coerce her into making a Bad Decision and leaving her people. You stay very true to her selfless nature.

EliwoodxNinian A Support! Ha! xD I love Eliwood's whole speech in that one...he's such a pansy :-).

Poor Nils, feeling guilty...but also willing to make things right and step up to the challenge! (Ha...way to capture the quintessence of a flautist xD)

This fic sure had a beautiful tone (and a cool color, too...). I really loved the way music was incorporated into it ^_^. It never mentions what Ninian will choose, but the song seemed to serve as hope...(also very ironic how "the world shall not forget...her song". Considering her last words, should she go back through the Dragon's Gate, are "Don't forget me!", right?)

Awesome! I'll definitely keep an eye out for more work from you :-). Thanks for drawing my attention to this!
--Kender

That was...extraordinary to say the least. There was flawless characterization, interaction and emotion throughout the entire piece. The first section was a tad quick, but the interupting thoughts were placed in rather nicely and made the section smoother. The second section, I can't find fault in it. There's the conflict that Ninian feels and Nils being more mature than he feels he gives himself credit for. The ending was suberb.

This piece is defiantly one of the best i've read. Great job!

This is really a lovely story and beautifully crafted. I think what you did with Ninian and the dragon song is wonderful-- infusing it with real purpose and power. In this story she’s a person in her own right and she’s very strong. The responsibility she has in her homeland gives her dilemma an added weight that we don’t really see in the game and I like how you interpreted her hesitation about telling Eliwood. The dialogue flowed well and was believable, even when they were talking about emotional charged issues– no melodrama or anything of the sort. The whole last section is beautiful as well and the last line is just right.

A really wonderful and unique story– I’m glad to finally see it posted!

Hi there, Kitsilver! Gunlord from the lil' Circle, reviewing your fic as requested ^^

I wish I could say more, but truthfully I can't. This is very good! Ninian and Nils are both in character, and you manage to incorporate Eliwood's A support into the story very well. I couldn't find any grammatical or spelling errors, at least not on a quick once-over. Very good work, I'm glad you offered me the chance to read it. ^^

Th-that... struck me with awe. This is so very beautiful, a welcome piece for some of the other stuff in here. You got the personalities right, and just, gahh. I suck at reviewing, but maybe my excuse is that this left me pretty much void of words? :D? Great work, though. Seriously. I think I noticed a missing word.. but I can't remember where. Bleh.

*Favorite'd*

Beautiful, introspective piece. Ninian doesn't get much on her unless it is a romance, and though this piece had romantic elements in it, I felt it was so much more than that. Granted, Ninian is one of my least favorite characters, but you did her justice, in a good way.

I have only one qualm, and that is with the beginning. I can see what you're trying to do, but it seems like forced exposition. The narrative is way too stiff. I liked the ending though.

Good writing. Good emotions. Good job. :)
~Lemurian-Girl~

*sniff* that was beautiful... i have to favorite this!

I love how you captured Ninian's sorrow and Nils' comforting in one shot, their bond as siblings that runs deeper than one can imagine. It's almost... poetic.

Oh, I'm happy to see this up! I've really missed seeing your writing here.

[We, too, feel anger and despair. We, too, feel sorrow and joy. We, too, can love.]

My favorite line.

I like the bit about Eliwood only fighting because he has to, and I think that it fits not only him, but so many other characters well, too (at least, by the end of Rekka). Even good ol' Hector who comes in swingin' can't be feeling quite so enthusiastic about it after fighting and killing and struggling for a year. But Eliwood... he's so sweet and caring...and openly at that, that I'm sure it really hurts him to have to fight when he doesn't want to, when all he wants to do is live peacefully and laugh and love just like everyone else in the world. But unfortunately, that isn't what happens to him. But it does make him stronger than so many other people, because he still picks up that sword, he still fights, knowing that if he doesn't others will die, caring that they will die...trying and succeeding and possibly disliking every single minute of it.

Oh, and poor Ninian... You know, if anybody could understand, you know it would be Eliwood.

[What would they have seen, one must wonder, if they followed the music to that isolated bluff.]

I would have ended that in a question mark.

Good ending. I really like the little changes I see from the first draft (which was really the billionth) that you showed me. It was an honor to read it ahead of time, by the way.

Nils' speech to Ninian was really touching, I thought, and like I said before, you did a really great job of capturing both siblings in quite a different light. Ninian appears strong in this, both as a character and as a woman. She cares and hopes, but she still wants. Wanting is something no one can help. Even your pets want something, want your company. There's no shame in the fact that Ninian wanted Eliwood, probably more than anything in the world...but she knew that she had to go back home, knew that she couldn't bear to send Nils alone to help their people survive when it was her responsibility, too.

Great work, Kit. I hope you write some more Fire Emblem 'fic soon... Especially Only a Dance, but I know and understand that you're a bit fic-blocked on that one at the moment.

Cheers!
-Manna

Oh, this was beautiful, and very well written. nice job!

This is simply beautiful - I really think that you captured the personalities of Nils and Ninian very well in this piece. Plus, as a dancer myself, I really felt as if it struck a chord. Please continue with your writing!

Nice. I was struck to write about Ninian and Nils the other day, too. It was my old conspiracy theory. This is really good, and I hardly saw any mistakes. The only thing I saw was you used the word "eyes" twice right in a row, and that sort of disrupted the flow of it in the beginning. That was seriously the biggest problem I saw. Otherwise it was damn near perfect. Good job.