You had some good ideas going for you, you just didn't really present them in exactly the right way. I honestly recommend you sitting down with this one and re-working it a couple of different times and ways. It has some potential.

Also, you have some simple grammar and description errors. Try getting a proof-reader, or if you already have one, get a more accurate and critical one.

That was really good! I hope that you can continue it soon. Keep writting!:)

That was cute. o)

Meh, good job, it was humorous. Best description of Matrix I've heard in a while.

"even though we could almost be the same size Did the "hot" bodies distract you so much that you lost the sense of large vs. small that you were taught in kindergarten? Dot is short.