(Kindalate,ohwell.)

I have a bit of a hard time seeing Amelia and Caellach living a normal, relaxed life together. But it's very sweet, happy endings all around. I can imagine their kids gagging while they talk about "being diligent" (what a way to ruin a word for your kids forever). Some missing words, ex. "but you have to (be) extremely diligent in your duties". Hopefully, you're not tired of hearing this, but the complex colours do get confusing. If you really wanna use 'em, maybe throwing in a metaphor/simile to help us connect the word with a colour could help. "Coccineous like a rose" or "like a freshly-ripened tomato" or... something. But then there would need to be context or readers might not know coccineous is a colour. Don't take my word for it, not really sure that throwing literary devices around would work. Might be worth a shot. Anyway, good job on a finished story.

To Riev: Congrats. You're the first ever creepazoid, breakdancing priest to get killed four times over in the span of a few seconds.

*curse myself* cannot believe I submitted a review without logging in. *curse some more*. Anyways, better repost it then: I was not expecting this... A very fitting ending to a wonderfully crafted piece. Congrats on finishing- a clean cut that leaves much to reflect upon. And yes. Spread the word. You gotta love Caellach and Amelia together! :D

a marvelous epilogue to a magnificent story. seeing the bond forming between the two gradan pairs was amusing, especially when it came to caellach and valter, and the acceptance into the frelian army was surprising, but not detrimental to the story. i must say that the only words which really took away a bit from the story were the colors. i know that repeating words can be a pain for a writer, but by the same token, the writer mustn't puzzle the readers. but, otherwise, splendid work!

keep writing!

--sir gar the bold

Overly flamboyant in your use of language at times (for example, when you have to explain what the osbcure colours you're using are, you know it's probably better just to stick with the simple). However, this did not detract much from what is a wonderful little story. It's not a pairing I would've thought of, but it does work in the context of this story and you brought the two characters together nicely. GJ.

I was not expecting this... A very fitting ending to a wonderfully crafted piece. Congrats on finishing- a clean cut that leaves much to reflect upon. And yes. Spread the word. You gotta love Caellach and Amelia together! :D

I could've sworn that all falcoknights and pegknights were female because pegasi were only comfortable around women. But anyway, I liked the chapter. Amelia and Caellach have a believable romance going on. Can't wait to see the epilogue.

Another thing, though. It goes with your writing style and impressive vocab but sometimes, the characters seem to be using words that are too big for them. Just a bit of OOCness, but I think they act IC.

truly magnificent work. i like the way caellach's tough reputation precedes him and makes the recapturing of the grado soldiers all the more amusing for both sides, rausten and grado. your use of extravagant wording really paints a vivid image in the reader's mind as he or she reads the story. admittedly, sometimes the words can distract from the story just a tad, but these times are few and rare. excellent work and i can't wait for the epilogue! keep writing!

--sir gar the bold

For some reason, Caellach thinking about killing a guy for walking in on him while undressing made me titter. Is the big bad Tiger Eye modest? XD

I like the way Caellach compared his own actions to Jehanna, the "Are you just like Jehanna, indifferent to everything and everyone?" part. I thought that was good characterization.

Anyway, hope to see more :)

forgive me for not responding sooner, but at such late hours, my mind temporarily mixed up caellach and riev (who shouldn't be paired with anybody). but it is a new day and my mind is clear. this is such a thrilling story, not unlike your valterxselena one. the suspense has been built and the final (sort of) battle must be waged. keep writin' and i'll keep readin'!

--sir gar the bold

So intense!


Please keep going!

They say one can tell a lot about a person through the eyes. You seem to have proven that statement. Your story is alive with colors and the intense emotions through the eyes. Caellach and Amelia. You're right, it's a great pairing. I love how you portrayed their contrasting characters together into one beautiful piece. (the music connection is fitting too.)

That reminds me; I should finish mine :(

Anyways, I liked the story. Your style reminds me of older English literature, like Jane Austen and Charles Dicken with all the big words (but that's what is for). I think there's a bit of purple prose but I still liked it overall.

I like how Caellach's backstory and motives were explained and their little tender moment. He seems like the type to never give a straight-out compliment.

Awesome!


I love this couple!


Have you ever tried the Duessel/Amelia ?